Learning a lot

I know it's been a while, but let me just say, life has been pretty crazy busy, which for me is definitely a change in pace. I officially started an online lit class through Messiah on Monday, even though I had to begin work for it prior. There's sooo much work to do. Lots of reading, writing, and you know, thinking...which has been harder for me, especially today, than I imagined it would be. I did however, have a chance to share some of what I've already shared here before about how I've learned to boast in my weakness, in hardship, and in difficulty, for when I am weak then I am strong (2 Cor 12:8-10). I didn't plan on sharing my sob story with the class, but after reading this one guy's post, I felt like it would probably be a good thing if I did. My heart was heavy today because I felt frustrated and ashamed with how long it took me to complete my assignments, but then I remember the verse I just mentioned, and I felt like God was nudging me to really boast about my weakness, specifically my mental weakness that I felt was magnified today, so that's what I did. And you know what, no one has responded to my post yet, but at least I feel as if I have learned something of importance today and gained a new understanding of what it means to boast (in other words, to not be ashamed) about my weaknesses.

Closing out, it's been a LONG day! I've pretty much been working since 10 a.m. and just stopped a minute ago to listen to a song my boyfriend posted on Facebook that I desperately needed to hear after nearly 10 hours of trying to think. It's called Arms that Hold the Universe. I really like it. And it's a perfect song if you're going through hard and tough times as it reminds us that God is still all-powerful, still in control, still holding you in his arms, and never letting you go.

I've listened to it four times already. Enjoy! God Bless! Good night to all, and to all a good night!

"You can hope. You can rise. You can stand. He's still got the whole world in His hands"

I expected...

A year ago, I expected that I would have successfully completed my first semester at Messiah College by now, but God had different plans.

Six months ago, I expected that I would have moved into my dorm with my two roommates this past weekend. I expected to have survived my first full day of classes today, and fall asleep in a building with hundreds of other girls and guys my age. I never expected that I'd be sitting here in my bed, alone, in the same room as always, at 11 o'clock updating my blog...

I expected to be in a place where I could learn, where I could thrive, where I could mature. Like most of people my age, I expected that to happen at college. Little did I know, that where I am today, is the very place where God destined me to learn, to thrive, and to mature in ways that I never would've expected (Eph. 3:20). In the quiet stillness of my room, in the comfort of my queen-sized bed, with a heating pad bringing waves of relief to the pounding in my head--this is where much of my learning takes place these days.

And you know what? I'm completely okay with that. As much as I'd love to be learning about literature, psychology, statistics, and philosophy at college right now, I am convinced that God still desires to teach me things here that I wouldn't be able to learn elsewhere. I have learned life lessons that I could never have learned from my professors at college (no offense to them, but some lessons are divine, beyond man's ability to teach, and must be taught by the Best of the best if you know what I mean), and I am learning new things everyday.

Yes, I'm not where I expected to be by now, but I believe I'm where I'm supposed to be. I expected to be healed from this invasive illness that has plagued me for nearly the past two years, but I'm still fighting it. I expected to have my life back by now, but I'm learning that in order to find my life, I first must lose my life (Matt. 10:39). That sounds so strange, I know, but I'm still just learning, so it's okay.

About an hour ago, I expected to be finishing up writing a post entitled, "Enrolling in the School of Prayer," since that's the topic of the book I just started reading, but I kind of went a different direction. Maybe the lesson to be learned tonight is more along this line---When reality doesn't line up with our expectations (which happens A LOT more than we'd like) we just gotta let go of our pride and roll with it. Stay positive, and keep on keeping on!

Yep! Sounds good to me! :)

Peace out!