Purify Us, Oh Lord.

Lately, I've been reading a fabulous devotional book entitled Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman. The updated edition in today's language has been a huge encouragement to me each time I sit down to read what it has to say. There are quite a few day's thoughts I wanted to re-post, but the one for today is especially near and dear to my heart.

He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver. (Malachi 3:3)

Our Father, who seeks to perfect His saints in holiness, knows the value of the refiner's fire. It is with the most precious metals that a metallurgist will take the greatest care. He subjects the metal to a hot fire, for only the refiner's fire will melt the metal, release the dross, and allow the remaining, pure metal to take a new and perfect shape in the mold.

A good refiner never leaves the crucible but, as the above verse indicates, "will sit" down by it so the fire will not become even one degree too hot and possibly harm the metal. And as soon as he skims the last bit of dross from the surface and sees his face reflected in the pure metal, he extinguishes the fire.
Arthur Tappan Pierson


He sat by a fire of seven-fold heat,

    As He looked at the precious ore,

And closer He bent with a searching gaze

   As He heated it more and more.

He knew He had ore that could stand the test,

   And He wanted the finest gold

To mold as a crown for the King to wear,

   Set with gems with a price untold.

So He laid our gold in the burning fire,

    Though we would have asked for delay,

And He watched the dross that we had not seen,

    And it melted and passed away.

And the gold grew brighter and yet more bright,

    But our eyes were so dim with tears,

We saw but the fire–not the Master’s hand,

    And questioned with anxious fears.

Yet our gold shone out with a richer glow,

    As it mirrored a Form above,

That bent o’er the fire, though unseen by us,

    With a look of unspeakable love.

Should we think that it pleases His loving heart

    To cause us a moment’s pain?

Not so! for He saw through the present cross

    The joy of eternal gain.

So He waited there with a watchful eye,

   With a love that is strong and sure,

And His gold did not suffer a bit more heat,

    Than was needed to make it pure.

Couch-to-5-K

I bought these sneakers with the hope that they will symbolize the start of a new stage of my recovery.

52 Week Project 2012 ~ Week 22 #HotPinkAllTheWay

Before I got sick, running and I had always enjoyed a love-hate relationship, filled with some joyous, some not-so-joyous memories of never-ending track work-outs, driveway sprints, and Camp Lauren. Most of the time, someone else had to push me to run. Or rather, in some cases, pull me off the couch. Thanks Laur! Although I didn’t always have a self-motivation to lace up my running shoes, at least I was able to still do it and run a good race.

There were a few occasions when I was still really struggling with my health that I tried running again, but my head pounded with every step, making the entire process and the rest of my day torture trying to deal with an insane migraine.

It’s one thing to complain about not wanting to run or feeling sore afterwards, but it’s a totally different, almost defeating, thing to know that even if you wanted to, running was out of the picture. I guess it's sometimes true that you never know what you got til it's gone. . . 

Today I began a exercise routine called The Couch-to-5-K Running Plan for new runners who want to progress from their sedentary state to running three miles, all in 2 months! I’m giving myself some extra time though. My goal is to be able to run 3 miles by the end of the summer.

After jogging/walking for 1.75 miles this morning, I just feel the usual aches of exercise. The really great part is that I didn’t get a migraine from the work-out AND I was able to complete it the right way. Compared to what I had done before, it wasn’t that hard of a work-out at all, but after not being able to do much of anything these past three years, it felt like a good enough sweat for me! Hopefully I'll be able to keep it up and finish what I've started. The fact that I'm on week 22 of my 52 Week Project seems like a pretty good sign to me that I have what it takes to commit. Ask me in two weeks how I'm doing. . . ;)

I'll leave you all with a running verse for inspiration: Hebrews 12:1 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 

Bird's Eye View

“Who stands fast? Only the man whose final standard is not his reason, his principles, his conscience, his freedom, or his virtue, but who is ready to sacrifice all this when he is called to obedient and responsible action in faith and in exclusive allegiance to God—the responsible man, who tries to make his whole life an answer to the question and call of God.”

 –Dietrich Bonhoeffer 

This week I’ve sensed a common theme of the need to stand firm in the faith in spite of pressures, fears, and struggles that tempt us to abandon the convictions and beliefs we hold in our hearts. Through my reading of Bonhoeffer's life and my reflections of Christ's example of suffering that he has left for us, I have been faced with the challenge to take God more seriously. Lest the saints cringe to see one’s perseverance in the faith diminish into the looming darkness, one must possess an undeniable responsibility to God’s call, stretching far beyond one’s self and suffering, that makes the muddy trek through hell on earth worth every inch. 

This dove, who has made her nest in the tree next to our porch, inspired me along the lines of this theme of perseverance and resilience, and so I've written her a short poem to conclude my post for this week. Please try to enjoy my attempt at poetry....

52 Week Project 2012 ~ Week 21

Innocent, pure, flawless Dove,

All too often have I underestimated your resilience. 

To my surprise, 

you remain steadfast to your duty: 

protecting your baby dove eggs

 even though blinded by the flashes of my camera and 

frightened by the dangerous blades of Daddy's trimmers. 

You know that I see you, and I know that you see me.

But this I must confess:

You have become the subject of my photo for the week

--I hope that's okay--

Not just for your beauty, though, 

for with you, there lies more beneath your fine feathers.

It is the strong will and dedication with which you respond to your call, 

which bids me to reevaluate my simple judgment on your kind. 

Your resistance to flight in the face of fear has inspired me, 

innocent, pure, flawless Dove,

to try to do the same.

The "Home Stretch"

52 Week Project~Week 18

It's amazing how a little bit of pressure...aka Finals Week...can make us college students really grow to value the small things in life that we often fail to fully enjoy:

A Lottie breakfast date/cram sesh before an 8 am exam. A surprise cup of tea from a friend. Sharing flashcards. A warm smile after way too many hours spent studying late in the library. Late night pancakes. Free pancakes! Dogs in the Union?? Finishing a final early. Learning how to construct a "buff chick" wrap...and then making a mess trying to figure out how to eat it. Listening to Needtobreathe on my ipod walking around campus. A light sun shower after a steamy Friday afternoon. Getting mail. Going to Baker's. Catching up with friends. Cookies, ice cream, & pizza, yumm. Singing in the shower together. Sharing vitamins and cold medicine. Walking barefoot. Random dance parties. Weird dreams. And last but not least, playing with chalk in the middle of the basketball court...trying to complete our masterpiece before the storm came to wash it away.

And that, my friends, is my photo of Week 18.

SEE?? It is amazing how a little bit of pressure can help us grow to enjoy the small things in life. Between the overload of stress and lack of sleep during this past week, I would've thought that I'd have been in a bad mood. But I've actually noticed way more positives, especially over the past few days.

To give you an example, in addition to the awesome list and picture above, on Wednesday evening, before I had to stop studying and just go back to my room to get some sleep, I pulled off a book from the shelf behind me. I happened to be sitting in the Theology section of the library in the cubbies that I usually never go to. But during my last study break, I opened up to a random page in a chapter entitled "The Gift of Surrender" and read the following:

"Jacob wrestles all night long with no hope of really winning. At the end of the night, he is still in the struggle but ready finally to give it up without needing to triumph. He can just be what he is. It is enough, he understands, simply to persist rather than to need to overcome. To persist is to live in hope. To insist on overcoming the enemy, on the other hand, only dooms us to perpetual contention over something that may not have perpetual value. Not to us, not to anyone... Surrender is the moment in which we realize that it is time to become someone new. Surrender is not about giving up; it is about moving on.” ~ Joan Chittister, Scarred by Struggle, Transformed by Hope (p. 59)

At the time, in the midst of all the undue stress that I place on myself with doing well on finals, that was exactly what I needed to hear in order to survive this last "home stretch" (as everyone keeps reminding me) of my freshman year of college.

I can just be what I am. It is enough for me to simply persist rather than to need to overcome the struggle that lies before me. To insist on being perfect or getting straight A's, even if it means missing out on the experience of fully enjoying the little things of college life, dooms me to "perpetual contention over something that may not have perpetual value."

Persistance, I'm learning, does not require absolute perfection. All it requires is a little bit (or a lot a bit) of pressure that forces us to learn how to enjoy the small things in life. Because without them, surrender is pointless. After all, "to persist is to live in hope," and we must have an idea of what we're hoping for.

"Surrender is the moment in which we realize 

that it is time to become someone new. 

Surrender is not about giving up; 

it is about moving on."

Our Shatter-Proof Refuge

52 Week Project 2012 ~ 9/52

Have you ever not known how to start a story because the shock of the experience still floods your memory and seemingly drowns your words?  Because that's how I feel right now. Usually I just struggle with writer's block, but I think it's safe to say that this time, writer's shock has gotten to me. With that said, please bare with me if this post seems a little rough.

By looking at the picture I chose for week 9 of my 52 Week Project, you can see that something clearly rocked my world this past week. I purposefully took this picture crooked and faded its color to illustrate the impact that this freak accident has had on me.

Last weekend when I came home, I discovered this bullet hole in my bedroom mirror. Someone apparently had shot my room while I was at school. The bullet passed through the wall, a mere few inches above my bed, through my mirror and the wall on which it hung.  Needless to say, this caused quite a commotion in the Edelman household at 1:30 in the morning. I totally freaked out and, of course, woke up my parents too, so no one slept very well last Friday night.

My dad brought up a good point in the midst of the chaos and the disillusionment. We may think that our home is our refuge, a place of safety where no harm can reach us, but that is a disillusioned way of thinking. Dad reminded me that only the Lord is our refuge, our fortress, and our protector. I was curious and found out that the word "refuge" is used 95 times throughout the Bible, and it pretty much always refers to the Lord (or the cities of refuge which God set apart anyways).


2 Samuel 22:31 says, “As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him."

Psalm 5:11 says, "But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you."

Psalm 34:8 says, "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."

Psalm 57:1 says, "Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed."

Psalm 62: 8 says, "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge."

Isaiah 25:4 says, "You have been a refuge for the poor, a refuge for the needy in his distress, a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat."

Joel 3:16 says, "The LORD will roar from Zion and thunder from Jerusalem; the earth and the sky will tremble. But the LORD will be a refuge for his people, a stronghold for the people of Israel."

Nahum 1:7 says, "The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him"

Over and over, we read that God is a refuge for those who trust in Him. He has proven time and time again to us that He is trustworthy, that He is faithful. He is our rock, our strength, our hope. If we profess to believe that God is who He says He is, then we can take hold of the blessing of actively trusting Him in every area of our lives. That may look different for each person because we each have our own individual troubles, and only God knows the extent of our pain. In light of our dissimilarities, however, I think the outcome of trusting the Lord will reflect the same image of surrender, peace, and comfort in all of our hearts. Even if you can't see that image yet or feel its presence, I encourage you to persevere in faith, patience and trust because peace and comfort comes in time to the soul that takes refuge in the Lord.

In the same way that the bullet definitely made an impact on my mirror but did not shatter it completely, this experience really challenged my thoughts on what it means to trust God, but it did not shatter them completely. Different times throughout the week, I had the choice to trust God or to rely on my own strength to get me through. It was only through those hard times, those trials, those pieces of broken glass, that I saw God as my refuge, my fortress, and my protector. He has proven that He's trustworthy, so I'm going to trust Him---day by day, moment by moment---because no matter how many times Satan tries to take a shot at me, God will always be my shatter-proof refuge.

Take heart brothers and sisters and humbly receive God's blessings in disguise. May our weary and beaten souls find rest tonight in the One who saves.


"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.


It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.


Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
 ~ 2 Corinthians 2:7-18

My Creation Project

I made an album of the following photographs of God's Creation for my Creation project for my freshman core class. My artist statement is also posted below which explains the meaning behind these pictures.
My goal in this project was to illustrate the significance that creativity has on spirituality.

Enjoy! 

    

Capturing Creativity’s Spiritual Significance

            History proves the human need for creative expression, and yet, we often fail to recognize the significance of creativity. At its core, creativity shapes us to become more like God. Before the Bible reveals any other aspect of God’s nature, it highlights God’s role as Creator and the value He places on his creative works. Furthermore, because God made mankind in His image and likeness, we have inherited his trait of creativity, a gift far exceeding monetary value. Creativity’s significance resides rather in the divine effects it has on our spiritual growth: shaping our human hearts, sustaining our weary souls, and renewing our finite minds. 

This photo album, which I entitled “Your Love is Big,” displays some of my favorite pictures that I took of God’s Creation, His marvelous masterpiece. The title comes from my amazement of God’s greatness, love, and creativity, which I cannot separate in my mind, though I attempt to capture glimpses of through my photos. I arranged the photos according to the account of creation recorded in the first chapter of Genesis, but I started with a picture depicting love because “God created the world out of love” (Jacobsen and Sawatsky 30). By mounting the photos on a sequence of rainbow colored paper, my album speaks of God’s promise to and passionate value for his creative works. God’s plan of redeeming creation reveals that the products of His creativity, and thus, creativity in and of itself, possess deep significance in God’s eyes (Van Dyke 85).

Since I am both a child and servant of God, I have adopted God’s deep value of creativity and desire to use mine to glorify Him and to serve His creation. Through my photography in this album, I seek to preserve the beauty and glory of nature and inspire others to appreciate its beauty as well. Not only so, but also as a result of my obedience to creative expression to which God calls us all, other people gain the opportunity to have their hearts shaped, souls quenched, and minds renewed in unique ways by the Creator of Heaven and Earth.

            Photography as an art form has opened many gates through which God has shaped, sustained, and renewed me, particularly in light of severe trial. These photos serve to mark my creative impulse; on a much deeper level, the process of producing them has served me in my spiritual growth, helping me develop resiliency and perseverance through seasons of pain and suffering which otherwise could potentially stifle creativity and suck the life out of a person. It is in this frame of thought that I identify to a certain degree with Alice Walker’s mother, who, regardless of “whatever rocky soil she landed on, she turned [it] into a garden” (31). For her, creativity in the garden gave her the strength to endure the hardships in life. In the same way, capturing glimpses of God’s character in photos of His creation—especially the flowers in my mother’s garden, like the last photo in this album which corresponds to the seventh day of creation when God rested—often provides me with the necessary dose of expressed creativity that God uses to restore my hope and my joy which then gives me the power and grace to persevere through life’s difficulties.

            If we took the risk to express our creativity, believing in its significant transformational power, I know that without a doubt, we would witness a spiritual revival before our very eyes because, as one can see from my photos, God’s love is big.

Works Cited

Jacobsen, Douglas and Rodney J. Sawatsky. (2006). Gracious Christianity: Living the Love We

Profess. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic. 

Van Dyke, Fred. “A Comprehensive Christian Environmental Ethic.” Messiah College, Editor.

(2012). The CCC Reader. Acton, MA: Copley Custom Textbooks [CR].

Walker, Alice. “In Search of Our Mothers’ Gardens.” Messiah College, Editor. (2012). The CCC

Reader. Acton, MA: Copley Custom Textbooks [CR].

Just Keep Swimming

Over the past week and a half, I feel like I've been developing, or redeveloping, Dory's philosophy of "Just Keep Swimming" in spite of the fear and anxiety brought on by the unknown. I'd like to say first of all to anyone who thinks that Disney/Pixar movies are childish and lacking in substance, you are very much mistaken and I pity you. Open your eyes! There are important life lessons that can be discovered through the dynamic characters, even though they are just cartoons. 


With that said, I'd like to share with you, as promised, the news we received last Tuesday from the testing that this new doctor performed. It was a very, VERY long day, and a lot of information was thrown at us. We all, my family and I, needed a good deal of time to absorb it, wrestle with it, cry over it, and pray through it. That's why it's taken me a week and a half to bring myself to write this post. Even now I don't have it all sorted out, but I can at least share what I know as well as some more specific prayer requests we have now as a result of obtaining this new information.


The tests pretty much confirmed most of the things that we suspected have been making me sick; however, due to the inaccuracy, and thus lack of dependency on the traditional blood tests, I had only tested positive for Rickekisia, other wise known as Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, which is a tick-born disease. These tests were different though because they used frequencies to determine if certain parasites, bacteria, and viruses are hiding inside my cells. Just because something is inside the cell does not mean it will necessarily show up in the blood, so it makes that the blood tests would come back negative. I tested positive for ten different bugs: three parasites, four kinds of bacteria, and one virus. Two of the bacteria have two different strains though, so it's really a total six of the little buggers. Some of the more commons ones include Borellia (Lyme disease), Babesia, Strep, RMSF, and feline leukemia---all very interesting...


The tests also showed that my whole body has been affected by these infections. Almost all of my organ systems are considered "weak areas" but especially my thyroid, liver, spleen, adrenal, and hippocampus (short-term memory). The goal is to be at least functioning at 70% in each area but those areas in my body are all bottoming out at a mere 60% . . . Not O.K. 


So what this means is that after nearly a year of antibiotic protocols, I will be starting a new treatment plan the second week in August after we get back from Florida. This doctor treats with herbs, however I can keep taking my antibiotics in the beginning to keep some of my dorment symptoms from reawakening. Each bug must be treated individually, one at a time. There is an herb kit for each bug which lasts 18-21 days if all goes well...so doing the math, it'll be at least 200 days, which is about 7 months of treatment if I'm able to do one right after the other at full strength. The doctor seems very confident that I will feel better after this, but he said I may experience some side effects from the herbs that could range from mild to severe (we'll be praying for no side effects at all though right?!?!)  He also wants to give both me and my sister Lauren (who is also sick with similar but different bugs) these shots to help boost our organ functions, which should also help with my short-term memory loss. 


The short-term memory loss (and cognitive impairment) has definitely been most frustrating, regardless of how much we joke about it at times. That's another area in which I can identify with Dory---this has been going on, remember, for over two and a half years. It's been a long time. I've regressed, hit rock bottom, progressed, plateaued, regressed again, and gone up and down a lot. That's the nature of these infections. If that doesn't take you on an emotional roller coaster than I don't know what would! I have had my good days and my bad days. Sometimes I get tired of it all and just wanna give up, but my fear of what giving up looks like helps me to endure just a little bit longer. 


It's in the fight that hope can be renewed, providing the strength, patience, and perspective needed to persevere. I've grown much stronger as a result of this sickness, this seemingly unending trial, but I can honestly tell you that my strength does not arise from myself. The strength I use to fight this battle is rooted in the joy of the Lord, Jesus Christ the Risen King. He didn't come to save us from suffering, but rather to enter into it with us, both in the moment of his crucifixion as well as in our present suffering. If Jesus was able to defeat death, which he did, and if I have the power that raised Christ from the dead in me, which I do, than certainly I can defeat this illness. I will do so by lifting my eyes above my suffering to my Father and Savior in Heaven whose grace is sufficient for me, whose power is made perfect in weakness, whose love endures forever, whose mercy reaches to the sky. 


When you lift your eyes to the Maker of Heaven and Earth, the weight of the dirt and grime of this life diminishes. He lifts the burden. He makes the load lighter. The miraculous discovery of joy, not just happiness which proves ever so fleeting but deep joy amidst pain and suffering---the joy of the Lord, my friends--is a beautiful thing; a blessing in disguise; a fine treasure that can only be found in the deepest, darkest mines of life's valleys. My heart grieves for those who refuse, dismiss, or neglect the beauty these landmarks of suffering have to offer, for in doing so, they will most likely overlook the greatest treasure that man could ever possess this side of Heaven.


I just want to take one last moment and thank everyone who has been praying for me, specifically through these tests, as well as the neurological testing I had done on Monday--we won't get those results for another six weeks or so. Don't forget that prayer is soooo powerful. So often, we have not because we ask not. As we seek God's face, may He direct our paths. He knows our every need, and He's in control over it all. The God who spoke and this world came to be is the God who holds you and me in the palm of His hand. He's been faithful thus far. He has proven Himself trustworthy. So I'm gonna keep trusting Him. He knows this is gonna make me stronger; us stronger. The Potter just knows these things. 

I'm loving this song right now. "Stronger" by Mandisa. Check it out :)

 

Where I was about a year ago: The Awakening

I wanted to share with you an essay that I wrote over a year ago for my 12th grade AP English class, so you can get an idea of where I'm coming from. It is dated November 23, 2009.

A lot has changed since then. Now we have a somewhat conclusive diagnosis of Lyme disease. However, a lot has stayed the same.

It's best if you just read it.


The Awakening

As I awoke with another piercing migraine this morning, discouraging thoughts went racing through my head. I wondered if the pain would ever cease; if all the intercessory prayers, along with my own, would ever receive an affirmative response; if I would ever be able to enjoy my senior year of high school; if I would ever be on top again. Though my head was pounding, I arose from my warm and comfortable, queen-sized bed with a sigh, in order to arrive at yet another doctor’s appointment where I would undergo yet another diagnostic test. The fun just never ends.

This is a typical morning in the life of Elisabeth Edelman—a seventeen year old, chronic migraine sufferer. She has faced abounding disappointments, tainting every area of her life. Elisabeth’s view of hope is now as an unreachable, theoretical concept held captive behind a wall of suffering and despair that is built upon a firm foundation of unfortunate circumstances. Her passions and desires are suppressed by the burdens of the present, and the future is uncertain. Once uncertainty and disappointment merge, discouragement accelerates.

As my mom ignored multiple speed limit signs while driving me to my appointment, I reflected on what had taken place the previous night. Being blindsided in a conversation with my director, I was informed that my spot in a prestigious performance group was questionable. Though I was shocked, I knew my health dictated the action. If I ever thought that my life was hard enough, a curve ball would hit me, thus, convincing me otherwise. In that moment, quiet tears of sadness streamed down my face, being replenished by an overwhelming sense of helplessness. I could do nothing to change the situation.

The performing arts give Elisabeth an outlet to express herself. They are therapeutic in distracting her from the constant, searing pain. The stage is also a place where Elisabeth can do what she does best—act as if she is not suffering. It provides Elisabeth with a mask that she can wear in addition to the armor of courage and stoicism she must put on everyday. While authenticity is adulterated when masks are worn off stage, masks are expected and required to be worn on stage. However, if Elisabeth’s stage mask were torn off, it would expose a young girl with a wounded spirit and hinder her expression of passion.

After returning home, taking medication, and resting my eyes in hope of relieving some pain, I craved a taste of the outside world, so I checked my e-mail. With little expectation that any message in my inbox could lift my heavy-laden spirit, I was pleasantly surprised by what I assumed would be just another pestering college reminder. It contained an encouraging quote that Abigail Adams had written in a letter to her son, John Quincy, “The habits of a vigorous mind are formed in contending with difficulties. Great necessities call out great virtues. When a mind is raised, and animated by the scenes that engage the heart, then those qualities which would otherwise lay dormant, wake into life and form the character of the hero and the statesman.” I was not quite sure how it happened, but when I finished reading that powerful quote, my anxious thoughts were silenced.

As Elisabeth sits back in her chair, something awakes inside her. Her hope has broken through the wall of suffering and despair, illuminating the foundation of unfortunate circumstances. Her competitive nature has been refreshed, and she can now mentally prepare herself for battle against the opposition that currently wages war upon her entire being. Hope has transformed darkness into the light that guides Elisabeth through the despair of her present trial. Though she is in a season of grief, she knows that her pain is temporary while her hope is eternal.

I prayed the night before that God would remind me of what is essential in life, and He answered my prayer by restoring the hope that I had lost. Being caught in a storm of my own, I had lost sight of the blessings that have been bestowed upon me. I often pitied myself, and it consumed me. However, when I read Abigail Adams quote, I was inspired. I was reminded that my heart and mind are formed by the challenges I must face; without overcoming these obstacles, a crucial part of me remains dormant. Hope awakened my desire to endure this temporary pain in order that I may pursue my passions and live a joyous life again. I could lose everything, but if I have hope, I know I will be victorious.

Hope is the distinguishing factor separating despair and perseverance, and it is often found unexpectedly amidst struggle and hardship. Though at times it may seem as if hope has been captured by the high walls of despair, with a little faith and perseverance, hope can conquer those walls, take hold of passion and, thus, illuminate darkness. Character has the opportunity to develop the most when it is tested through the darkest trial; yet no light is too small for perseverance to be ignited, hope to be restored, and passion to be renewed. Ultimately, victory is won in the light.