Experiencing Power in Weakness

I’m so glad that I was able to go to youth group tonight because I came away refreshed, with a deeper understanding of a lesson that I thought I had on lock. Let me explain.

One major truth that God has been showing me through out what at times seems like a never-ending trial, is that weakness is not something to be looked down upon, but rather embraced. The message tonight was so encouraging and exactly what I needed to hear. Despite having a really bad headache, I got a lot out of it. I’m just going to share a little and hopefully someone will also be moved by it.

Mike, the pastor of the high school ministry at our church, started off with some background on the Hebrew culture during the time of Jesus’ ministry, which shed a new light on some familiar passages. In those days, rabbis (spiritual teachers) had very prestigious roles in society. Similar to a doctor, or a lawyer, or a rocket scientist, rabbis were held above other occupations. As a result, they also had money. Families who were "well off" would send their children, at age SIX, to study under a rabbi in hopes of them learning, growing, and becoming a rabbi themselves. However, it was not an easy undertaking in the least. By age ten, they needed to have the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, memorized. I've recently read through Leviticus, and well, you try reading through it if that statement doesn't shock you. At that point, the rabbi would decide who had the most potential to learn the best and then send the rest back home where they would resort to learning the family trade—carpentry, fishing, blacksmithing? Or whatever it may be. By age fourteen, those who made the cut and remained under the rabbi’s direction would have the entire Hebrew Bible memorized! Woahhh! Crazy stuff right?! The rabbi would then make another cut, deciding who would stay and who would go home. By the end, I guess after more years of training and more cuts, only one or two students would remain, and so they would eventually “graduate”, become rabbis, do ministry, and continue the cycle.

Before people acknowledged Jesus as the Son of the Most High God, he was recognized as a teacher like the rabbis, specifically, though, as "one who taught with authority." Jesus was counter-cultural.

Back.On.Track.

Hey everyone! I just gotta start by asking you all to please forgive me…I know that I kind of disappeared for a while there. You’ve been looking for new posts but there was none to be found. I could make excuses for myself, but I’d rather not. All I’m saying is I’m back and want to be more disciplined in writing everyday.

It’s all too easy for me to fall into the habit of not finishing what I’ve started and excusing myself because I’m sick…and frankly, I’m bothered by that. This mental laziness, which in part has been brought on by my illness, is slowly suffocating me. My mind needs to breathe. I refuse to be victimized. I refuse to do nothing. I refuse to be defined by sickness. I refuse to give up because I refuse to fail.

Even on the rough days when I’m feeling sick and discouraged, I want to post something. It could be as simple as an update on my health, a weary request for prayer or some thought that’s on my mind at the moment. I have some strong perfectionist tendencies that when combined with fatigue, pain, and discouragement, often keep me from writing. I am determined, however, to rise up and fight what’s holding me back. There will be times I succeed and times I stumble. My writing will certainly not be perfect or qualify as “A” material, but I’m trying to loosen my grip on expecting perfection because I know how imperfect I truly am. One word of wisdom that I had heard often from my teachers at school is that something is always better than nothing…and I promise there will be more “somethings” than “nothings” from now on, so keep checking in. Also, it’s nice to know someone is reading what I write so feel free to comment below and let me know you’re here.

Next on the “To-Do” List is learning how to create new pages or links (I'm new at this) on my blog where I can first, attempt to explain my illness in more detail for those of you who don’t know how sick I’ve actually been the past two years and second, have a dedicated prayer page maybe? Prayer is the strongest medicine out there, it’s free, and you can never overdose. That’s what I need the most, and I deeply appreciate all of you who have been faithful in praying for me. Thank you!

Well, now that that’s all out there, I feel like I can actually start writing again. I think I’ll try to go to bed early tonight though and come back tomorrow. I never took my daily nap today, so I’m calling it a night before 9. Wow. Okay. No making fun! Haha....yeahhh.

Good night!! Don’t let the bedbugs bite! ☺