Purify Us, Oh Lord.

Lately, I've been reading a fabulous devotional book entitled Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman. The updated edition in today's language has been a huge encouragement to me each time I sit down to read what it has to say. There are quite a few day's thoughts I wanted to re-post, but the one for today is especially near and dear to my heart.

He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver. (Malachi 3:3)

Our Father, who seeks to perfect His saints in holiness, knows the value of the refiner's fire. It is with the most precious metals that a metallurgist will take the greatest care. He subjects the metal to a hot fire, for only the refiner's fire will melt the metal, release the dross, and allow the remaining, pure metal to take a new and perfect shape in the mold.

A good refiner never leaves the crucible but, as the above verse indicates, "will sit" down by it so the fire will not become even one degree too hot and possibly harm the metal. And as soon as he skims the last bit of dross from the surface and sees his face reflected in the pure metal, he extinguishes the fire.
Arthur Tappan Pierson


He sat by a fire of seven-fold heat,

    As He looked at the precious ore,

And closer He bent with a searching gaze

   As He heated it more and more.

He knew He had ore that could stand the test,

   And He wanted the finest gold

To mold as a crown for the King to wear,

   Set with gems with a price untold.

So He laid our gold in the burning fire,

    Though we would have asked for delay,

And He watched the dross that we had not seen,

    And it melted and passed away.

And the gold grew brighter and yet more bright,

    But our eyes were so dim with tears,

We saw but the fire–not the Master’s hand,

    And questioned with anxious fears.

Yet our gold shone out with a richer glow,

    As it mirrored a Form above,

That bent o’er the fire, though unseen by us,

    With a look of unspeakable love.

Should we think that it pleases His loving heart

    To cause us a moment’s pain?

Not so! for He saw through the present cross

    The joy of eternal gain.

So He waited there with a watchful eye,

   With a love that is strong and sure,

And His gold did not suffer a bit more heat,

    Than was needed to make it pure.

Bird's Eye View

“Who stands fast? Only the man whose final standard is not his reason, his principles, his conscience, his freedom, or his virtue, but who is ready to sacrifice all this when he is called to obedient and responsible action in faith and in exclusive allegiance to God—the responsible man, who tries to make his whole life an answer to the question and call of God.”

 –Dietrich Bonhoeffer 

This week I’ve sensed a common theme of the need to stand firm in the faith in spite of pressures, fears, and struggles that tempt us to abandon the convictions and beliefs we hold in our hearts. Through my reading of Bonhoeffer's life and my reflections of Christ's example of suffering that he has left for us, I have been faced with the challenge to take God more seriously. Lest the saints cringe to see one’s perseverance in the faith diminish into the looming darkness, one must possess an undeniable responsibility to God’s call, stretching far beyond one’s self and suffering, that makes the muddy trek through hell on earth worth every inch. 

This dove, who has made her nest in the tree next to our porch, inspired me along the lines of this theme of perseverance and resilience, and so I've written her a short poem to conclude my post for this week. Please try to enjoy my attempt at poetry....

52 Week Project 2012 ~ Week 21

Innocent, pure, flawless Dove,

All too often have I underestimated your resilience. 

To my surprise, 

you remain steadfast to your duty: 

protecting your baby dove eggs

 even though blinded by the flashes of my camera and 

frightened by the dangerous blades of Daddy's trimmers. 

You know that I see you, and I know that you see me.

But this I must confess:

You have become the subject of my photo for the week

--I hope that's okay--

Not just for your beauty, though, 

for with you, there lies more beneath your fine feathers.

It is the strong will and dedication with which you respond to your call, 

which bids me to reevaluate my simple judgment on your kind. 

Your resistance to flight in the face of fear has inspired me, 

innocent, pure, flawless Dove,

to try to do the same.

Any Other Way: ALPACA?

"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection

 and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings,

 becoming like him in his death, 

and so, somehow, 

to attain to the resurrection from the dead." 

~ Philippians 3:10

Sometimes it’s hard to be thankful for the difficult and trying weeks. Most people don’t naturally embrace pain. I sure know that I don’t. The countless ways that I know how to reduce pain and my stubborn curiosity for finding new pain management techniques prove that I don’t enjoy living under physical distress nor do I find pleasure in the actual experience of suffering. This week was one of those weeks where I wished more than anything for relief from illness, from migraines, from fatigue: the things that drained me dry, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

In search of a thankful spirit within my broken and contrite heart, I found great peace and comfort through the songs on my playlist for the week. Tenth Avenue North’s albums The Light Meets the Dark and Over and Underneath were on repeat on my ipod, and I really enjoyed actually having time, despite the accompanying migraines, to listen to the lyrics of many songs that I had never taken the time to listen all the way through. 

One such song in particular has been “Any Other Way” which talks about how pain is necessary for love to exist:

It’s not enough, it’s not enough

Just to say that you’re okay

I need your hurt

I need your pain

It’s not love any other way

Take a listen to what the lead singer of Tenth Avenue North 

has to say about the meaning behind the song. 

He says it better than I could...

I feel like so often we’re tempted, or at least I am, to put on our rose-colored glasses and idealize love in a way that distorts the essence of what love is. Love isn’t always easy. Love carries us through our struggles, our hurt, and our pain. Love doesn’t run away when the going gets tough. Love sticks by us not matter what. Love bids us to come as we are and welcomes us with arms wide open. Love is forever and a day. Nothing can scare it away---not even pain. 

With Jesus by my side this week even as I laid in bed (or on the floor…) too sick to take care of myself, this is the love that comforted me. Christ's love—expressed through the compassionate actions of friends as close as family, the prayers of dedicated saints back home, the grace from my understanding professors and faculty at Messiah, and even the lyrics of simple songs—comforted me. In these little things, which were actually really big things this week, I saw and felt the greatness of God’s love.

God loved me by sending his son to suffer the ultimate pain, so that “By his wounds," truth be told, "you have been healed” (1 Peter 2:24). This amazing truth always gives us a reason to be thankful even when our present circumstances may seem less than desirable. I've clung to that verse this week, and I hope it can encourage you as well in whatever you're going through. 

52 Week Project 2012 ~ 13/52 ~ Horsey & Alpaca!! =)

For week 13 of my 52 Week Project, I was blessed to meet this horsey and alpaca--Otto and Taps. I wouldn't have had this opportunity if I wasn't so sick this past week because they were in the backyard of this lady's house where I had a therapy appointment today. Although it may seem out of place, I really like this picture and it definitely means a lot to me. I hope that you all can just embrace the awkward timing of this picture and remember that blessings come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes we can't explain with words why they're blessings, but during those moments, we can be thankful that a picture is worth a thousand words. That's how my week's been, so I'm just gonna leave it at that for now. Isn't that a nice lookin' horsey and alpaca though?? I think so!

Our Shatter-Proof Refuge

52 Week Project 2012 ~ 9/52

Have you ever not known how to start a story because the shock of the experience still floods your memory and seemingly drowns your words?  Because that's how I feel right now. Usually I just struggle with writer's block, but I think it's safe to say that this time, writer's shock has gotten to me. With that said, please bare with me if this post seems a little rough.

By looking at the picture I chose for week 9 of my 52 Week Project, you can see that something clearly rocked my world this past week. I purposefully took this picture crooked and faded its color to illustrate the impact that this freak accident has had on me.

Last weekend when I came home, I discovered this bullet hole in my bedroom mirror. Someone apparently had shot my room while I was at school. The bullet passed through the wall, a mere few inches above my bed, through my mirror and the wall on which it hung.  Needless to say, this caused quite a commotion in the Edelman household at 1:30 in the morning. I totally freaked out and, of course, woke up my parents too, so no one slept very well last Friday night.

My dad brought up a good point in the midst of the chaos and the disillusionment. We may think that our home is our refuge, a place of safety where no harm can reach us, but that is a disillusioned way of thinking. Dad reminded me that only the Lord is our refuge, our fortress, and our protector. I was curious and found out that the word "refuge" is used 95 times throughout the Bible, and it pretty much always refers to the Lord (or the cities of refuge which God set apart anyways).


2 Samuel 22:31 says, “As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him."

Psalm 5:11 says, "But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you."

Psalm 34:8 says, "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."

Psalm 57:1 says, "Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed."

Psalm 62: 8 says, "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge."

Isaiah 25:4 says, "You have been a refuge for the poor, a refuge for the needy in his distress, a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat."

Joel 3:16 says, "The LORD will roar from Zion and thunder from Jerusalem; the earth and the sky will tremble. But the LORD will be a refuge for his people, a stronghold for the people of Israel."

Nahum 1:7 says, "The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him"

Over and over, we read that God is a refuge for those who trust in Him. He has proven time and time again to us that He is trustworthy, that He is faithful. He is our rock, our strength, our hope. If we profess to believe that God is who He says He is, then we can take hold of the blessing of actively trusting Him in every area of our lives. That may look different for each person because we each have our own individual troubles, and only God knows the extent of our pain. In light of our dissimilarities, however, I think the outcome of trusting the Lord will reflect the same image of surrender, peace, and comfort in all of our hearts. Even if you can't see that image yet or feel its presence, I encourage you to persevere in faith, patience and trust because peace and comfort comes in time to the soul that takes refuge in the Lord.

In the same way that the bullet definitely made an impact on my mirror but did not shatter it completely, this experience really challenged my thoughts on what it means to trust God, but it did not shatter them completely. Different times throughout the week, I had the choice to trust God or to rely on my own strength to get me through. It was only through those hard times, those trials, those pieces of broken glass, that I saw God as my refuge, my fortress, and my protector. He has proven that He's trustworthy, so I'm going to trust Him---day by day, moment by moment---because no matter how many times Satan tries to take a shot at me, God will always be my shatter-proof refuge.

Take heart brothers and sisters and humbly receive God's blessings in disguise. May our weary and beaten souls find rest tonight in the One who saves.


"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.


It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.


Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
 ~ 2 Corinthians 2:7-18

The Challenge & The Blessing

52 Week Project 2012 ~ 3/52

A theme of contentment--giving thanks in all circumstances--has woven its way through the third week of my 52 Week Project, and waking up to the freshly laid blanket of snow outside, I'd say, wrapped it up quite nicely. 

This family of trees has gathered in our front yard since before we built our house here over 11 years ago. I can remember passing countless Spring afternoons rocking away on the hammock under the shade-casting branches of these trusty trees; summer memories of sword fighting with their fallen branches and then playing fetch with our dog Trudy who'd always interrupt the game; fall days filled with the fierce competition for first place in the classic Edelman family game of Catch the Leaves; snowy days like today that make me slow down from the hustle and bustle of life and pause....

Closing my eyes I breathe in the crisp scent of winter bliss and let out a deep sigh of contentment as the gentlest of smiles glides across my sleepy-eyed face; thus, concluding my much needed moment of escape.

I've been challenged this week to transform those brief moments of escape, of silent bliss, of peaceful contentment, to reflect my everyday-state-of-mind. The challenge initially came to me while sitting in a wooden pew of a church out in Reading. Pat and I wanted to check out this church because he was interviewing for their worship leader position later in the week. Visiting the church was slightly a spur of the moment decision, but I thank God for bringing us there that morning. I went in thinking I wouldn't enjoy a traditional church service, let alone a sermon on finances. Thankfully, though, God knows I enjoy a challenge; hence, my strong conviction by this verse the Pastor mentioned. Hebrews 13:5 states, "...be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you' (Deut. 31:6)" (NIV).

I went through the rest of my day pretty much headache free, thanking the Lord for that blessing along with the blessing of participating in the Body of Christ, fellowship, and prayer; music, food, and friends; life, love, and happiness. Everything! In addition to the challenge of contentment God presented me with that morning, He also gave me a renewed perspective. From there, He encouraged me that living with a heart of thanksgiving will provide the joy and hope necessary to sustain me through whatever trials may come.

And surely, the trials came. Before gaining victory in this challenge, God decided to test me--starting first thing Monday morning--when I woke up with a really sore throat. (Because I have Lyme disease, my white blood cell count is extremely low, which makes it hard for my body to fight off other viruses and bacteria. It's always bad. That's why I hate getting sick on top of everything else. So, being sick and content is very challenging for me.) In order to confirm that I grasped the concepts of this lesson of contentment, I spent the entire week in bed sick as a dog with really bad headaches again. At least that was my reasoning as I lied awake in bed. It's easy to give thanks when the days seem good; however, when the days are bad, long, or painful, maintaining an attitude of thankfulness grows much more difficult. I convinced myself that this sickness was all part of the challenge, though, and I became determined to finish well.

My Memory Verse:
"The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion"
Psalm 116:5

Ironically, this week's devotional had me read Psalm 116, memorize verse 5, and meditate on the following quote by John R. Claypool: "Thankfulness is...a resource rather than a burden which can be used by God to enable us to overcome obstacles rather than to be overcome by them."

Looking back on the week now that most of it is behind me, I curiously wonder if that "challenge" God gave me on Sunday morning was really his way of blessing me with the resource he planned on using to sustain me through this sickness. I think... Yes!

Thankfulness: a blessing in disguise.

Psalm 136:1 says, "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever."

~If you've read this post, please share something you're thankful for by posting a comment below. Don't be shy!
May thankfulness spill from us.

Learning a lot

I know it's been a while, but let me just say, life has been pretty crazy busy, which for me is definitely a change in pace. I officially started an online lit class through Messiah on Monday, even though I had to begin work for it prior. There's sooo much work to do. Lots of reading, writing, and you know, thinking...which has been harder for me, especially today, than I imagined it would be. I did however, have a chance to share some of what I've already shared here before about how I've learned to boast in my weakness, in hardship, and in difficulty, for when I am weak then I am strong (2 Cor 12:8-10). I didn't plan on sharing my sob story with the class, but after reading this one guy's post, I felt like it would probably be a good thing if I did. My heart was heavy today because I felt frustrated and ashamed with how long it took me to complete my assignments, but then I remember the verse I just mentioned, and I felt like God was nudging me to really boast about my weakness, specifically my mental weakness that I felt was magnified today, so that's what I did. And you know what, no one has responded to my post yet, but at least I feel as if I have learned something of importance today and gained a new understanding of what it means to boast (in other words, to not be ashamed) about my weaknesses.

Closing out, it's been a LONG day! I've pretty much been working since 10 a.m. and just stopped a minute ago to listen to a song my boyfriend posted on Facebook that I desperately needed to hear after nearly 10 hours of trying to think. It's called Arms that Hold the Universe. I really like it. And it's a perfect song if you're going through hard and tough times as it reminds us that God is still all-powerful, still in control, still holding you in his arms, and never letting you go.

I've listened to it four times already. Enjoy! God Bless! Good night to all, and to all a good night!

"You can hope. You can rise. You can stand. He's still got the whole world in His hands"

Life-giving Joy

     Walking by faith and not by sight is the way of the few. We are innately more inclined to trust ourselves, relying on our own strength rather than to take a risk, a step of faith, and trust the Maker of the Universe, relying on His strength. I think one significant explanation of this comes from our misunderstanding of God’s will for our lives.
     We all desire to be happy. We wish for good health, safety for our loved ones, and comfort in material things like a warm house to live in, a nice car to drive, and fashionable clothes to wear. That’s along the lines of what everyone wants in life, right? And none of those wishes are bad.  The Declaration of Independence even states that “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness” are among our “unalienable rights,” and are the sovereign rights of man.
     I have to wonder though, if by viewing ourselves as entitled to happiness, or allowing our souls to be misdirected in sole pursuit of happiness, do we lose sight of the truth that God’s will for us is not to be happy, but joyful? Joy is one of the fruits of the Spirit, which is produced in us when we are truly abiding in Christ (John 15:1-17). Happiness, however, is not listed as a fruit of the Spirit, and is a mere emotion based on changing circumstances. I encourage you to take a look at Ephesians 5:16-26 right now and check it out for yourself.
     The difference between happiness and joy is very important to understand, especially for the Christian. Picture Happiness being on one side of the Grand Canyon and Joy on the other. There is a great chasm separating the two. It would require enormous effort to cross over from the side of happiness to the side of joy, and you must expect the journey would be quite painful and exhausting. And that it is. Because joy does not come easy, I feel confident enough to suggest that few really ever experience it in this life.
     In his book Shattered Dreams: God’s Unexpected Path to Joy Larry Crabb writes, “Happy people rarely look for joy. They’re quite content with what they have. The foundation of their life consists of the blessings they enjoy.” This may easily describe many of us who live comfortably. Crabb further goes on to challenging that “Happy people do not love well. Joyful people do.” If this is true, and we know that the Greatest Commandment is to love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself, then we need to seriously examine where we are right now. We as Christians are called to live a life of love. People should know us by our love. Maybe they don’t because we have yet to taste the fruit of joy for ourselves.
     He concludes with this convicting paragraph: “Only a few in any generation believe that the weight of knowing God is a blessing heavier (and by that I mean more wonderful) than every other. And those who believe it appear to have developed that conviction only through suffering. Happiness must be stripped away, forcibly, before joy can surface, before we will value and pursue dreams whose fulfillment produces true joy.”
    Leaving behind the pleasant feelings that pleasant circumstances generate in order to venture down the rocky road to joy is not easy. In order to experience true joy, though, and then love for real, we must experience deep suffering. Luckily for those who have placed their trust in Jesus Christ, there is hope. That hope, however, does not mean a life free from suffering. No. There is no shortcut to joy, but that’s for our own good. “For Jesus, the answer to suffering is to suffer intensely, and then to walk through that pain—through prayer, the Word, spiritual disciplines, and community—toward the center of your soul where above all else you desire God.” We must hurt when we hurt. We are not doing ourselves any favors by pretending we’re okay. Rushing recovery to escape the pain is no good either. Haste makes waste, right? But BE ENCOURAGED! “Shattered dreams are the prelude to joy. Always. In the middle of our pain, God is working for our joy. At some point, He works in ways we can see.”
     There is no greater joy than knowing and experiencing God. Apart from God, who is the giver of joy, we are unable to experience real love and love others, for God is love. Happiness found in temporary things will only last for a lifetime and then fade away. Joy rooted in hope that’s produced from suffering, however, will carry us through the hardships of this world and into the Heavenly realm of eternity where we will forever rest in the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. That’s what makes this life worth living. I pray that you all find that life-giving joy. And remember, God works all things for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28).