Our Mess. God's Masterpiece.

52 Week Project 2012 ~ Week 30
Makes me wanna take a backroad =)

Ever have one of those days when you just feel like your thoughts are all over the place? On the one hand, your scatterbrain-ness is everything but productive. On the other hand, you learn a lot about yourself because of your hypersensitivity to the Wheel-of-Thoughts that's spinning in your head. Tick. Tick. Tick. Speeding up and slowing down. Wondering where it's going to stop. $1,000 or BANKRUPT.

If you haven't ever had one of those days (you're just one of those people who are "A-plus" focused all the time), you'll definitely get a feel for it through this post because that's been my day. It started when I left late for my chiropractor appointment this morning and had to turn off the radio because I was utterly distracted by a sea of amazing clouds rolling across the bright blue sky. I say a "sea" because I honestly had to remind myself, "No Elisabeth, that's not the ocean." The clouds seriously looked like crashing waves hitting the sandy coast, though, one after another, just like clockwork. And that's the perfectly timed picture that God painted for me on his Creator-of-the-World-sized canvas this morning. It was exactly what I needed. Even though I was late, I was too distracted by beauty to care, too awestruck by God's hypersensitivity to my scattered thoughts to worry. Somehow God brought peace and calm to my crazy, all-over-the-place-mess of a mind.

And you wanna know what the best part about all of that was? Not that I couldn't stop and take a picture of the sky this morning (because I was late...) but that God left it for me up there on my way home tonight! Never have I been so thankful for a drive through the backroads by my house. It's like God knew or something! (HA...I just laughed at that statement too) I couldn't keep focused on anything else today for very long, but oh my word, that sky! I had no other choice but stop my car a few different times to take some pictures.

You may think I'm a little crazy by now, but God has actually taught me some crazy lessons of trust today through the sky and my ridiculous lack of focus. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it all and find the words to describe to you how God's been moving in my heart today.

I'll start by being honest and say that this week I have worried wayyyyy too much about some decisions I have to make about what this coming semester is going to look like for me. I've felt almost paralyzed by fear of the unknown (a.k.a. my health) and confused whether as to confront those feelings of fear for what they are or listen to them as whispers of discernment. In any case, I have not been trusting the Lord with these decisions. I've been stressing, trying to figure it out on my own, and deceiving myself into thinking that I can keep things under control.

In reality, I'm more of a mess than I usually think I am, and I desperately need to rely on the Lord. I need to trust that his plan for me is perfect, and that nothing--not even my worry, or doubt, or chronic headaches--can get in the way of that perfect plan. For the God who made the sky and the oceans and the sun and everything that has a name and even the things that have yet to be named, is the same God who's in total control over this long, rough season of my life. To me, it feels like a whirlwind; to God, it must feel like...well, I'm honestly not sure, but I know that the winds and the waves stand still at his command, so my crazy life probably doesn't stress him out all that much.

So once again, for anyone who's ever felt like a complete mess, don't think that God won't come and meet you where you are. I know sometimes we all can get self-conscious and would prefer that God not come and see us in a frazzled, bad hair, no make-up kind of day, but God isn't as easily scared off as we think he'd be. Now is not the time to be shy with Him. It's time to be real. Say it how it is. Don't hold back. The God who gave you life is dying to be in a relationship with you; Jesus made that possible through his death and resurrection. He's waiting for you. What are you waiting for?

Maybe tomorrow morning he'll paint you a masterpiece in the sky, so don't forget to look past your mess to see it. Mmk??

Blessings friends!

Bird's Eye View

“Who stands fast? Only the man whose final standard is not his reason, his principles, his conscience, his freedom, or his virtue, but who is ready to sacrifice all this when he is called to obedient and responsible action in faith and in exclusive allegiance to God—the responsible man, who tries to make his whole life an answer to the question and call of God.”

 –Dietrich Bonhoeffer 

This week I’ve sensed a common theme of the need to stand firm in the faith in spite of pressures, fears, and struggles that tempt us to abandon the convictions and beliefs we hold in our hearts. Through my reading of Bonhoeffer's life and my reflections of Christ's example of suffering that he has left for us, I have been faced with the challenge to take God more seriously. Lest the saints cringe to see one’s perseverance in the faith diminish into the looming darkness, one must possess an undeniable responsibility to God’s call, stretching far beyond one’s self and suffering, that makes the muddy trek through hell on earth worth every inch. 

This dove, who has made her nest in the tree next to our porch, inspired me along the lines of this theme of perseverance and resilience, and so I've written her a short poem to conclude my post for this week. Please try to enjoy my attempt at poetry....

52 Week Project 2012 ~ Week 21

Innocent, pure, flawless Dove,

All too often have I underestimated your resilience. 

To my surprise, 

you remain steadfast to your duty: 

protecting your baby dove eggs

 even though blinded by the flashes of my camera and 

frightened by the dangerous blades of Daddy's trimmers. 

You know that I see you, and I know that you see me.

But this I must confess:

You have become the subject of my photo for the week

--I hope that's okay--

Not just for your beauty, though, 

for with you, there lies more beneath your fine feathers.

It is the strong will and dedication with which you respond to your call, 

which bids me to reevaluate my simple judgment on your kind. 

Your resistance to flight in the face of fear has inspired me, 

innocent, pure, flawless Dove,

to try to do the same.

Battling for the New

52 Week Project 2012 ~ 5/52
Taken at Midtown Scholar in Harrisburg, PA

A slight breeze of uneasiness often comes over me when I try something new for the very first time. Whether or not the uneasiness blows from the hovering clouds retaining my fear of the unknown, my insecurity, or my doubt, it has the notorious ability of keeping me up at night. At the beginning of the week, I moved my stuff back to Messiah for the start of the spring semester. Initially, I had the hardest time falling asleep in my newly arranged room, but I somehow seemed to wake up ready to take on each new day with a strange, nervous energy. If you’ve met me, you know that I am the farthest from being a morning person. However, the odd combination of excitement and uneasiness rolled me out of bed, most days before my alarm even told me to! And, like most other college students, that rarely ever happens to me.

It has surely been a week full of new experiences—new classes, professors, and books; new hall mates, laughter, and friendships; new blessings, hardships, and opportunities. The picture for week 5 of my 52 Week Project was taken in the Poetry section of Midtown Scholar, an old bookstore/coffe house renovated from a movie theater located somewhere in the city Harrisburg (except I couldn't tell you where because today was my first time visiting the place...another new experience of mine!).  All this newness got me thinking about both the fear and the joy which so often surrounds the new.

We always have a choice when it comes to stepping out and trying new things. We can either allow fear to paralyze us, keeping us stuck in the ways of the old, or we can overcome that fear, and thereby, take hold of the joy, satisfaction, and blessing, which accompanies the new.

Now I realize that not all new things are necessarily good, and sometimes fear protects us from naively entering into dangerous circumstances. However, I think you know that's not the kind of fear I'm talking about. There comes a time when we must put off the old and put on the new, whether we’re fearful or not.

As Christians in particular, who have been made new in Christ, the time has already come. But in case you missed the memo, the time is now. Regardless of your past regrets, regardless of your past mistakes, whether you messed up a year ago or 5 minutes ago, in Christ, you are a new creation. The old has gone; the sin, all of it, has been forgiven, wiped out, erased. Because of Christ’s blood that was shed for you, your future is spotless. You can now clothe yourself with his righteousness, holiness, and dignity. Fear and shame need not hold you back from the joy of the Lord, the joy of your salvation, the joy of living as one who's been made new.

If you’re still feeling a breeze of uneasiness, if you’re stuck in the shadow of the cloud of the unknown, if you have yet to experience this newness in Christ, I would encourage you to take the steps necessary for you to personally overcome whatever fear and doubt are holding you back from acquiring such joy. 

Ask questions. There are answers.

Cry out to God. He hears you.

Let Christ’s love revive your weary soul. He longs to do so.

God, the maker of Heaven and Earth, longs to be in relation with you, longs to make you whole, longs to make you new. Don’t let your fear of abandoning your old ways disguise the ultimate blessing of God’s redeeming grace.

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” ~ Luke 11:9-10