Our Mess. God's Masterpiece.

52 Week Project 2012 ~ Week 30
Makes me wanna take a backroad =)

Ever have one of those days when you just feel like your thoughts are all over the place? On the one hand, your scatterbrain-ness is everything but productive. On the other hand, you learn a lot about yourself because of your hypersensitivity to the Wheel-of-Thoughts that's spinning in your head. Tick. Tick. Tick. Speeding up and slowing down. Wondering where it's going to stop. $1,000 or BANKRUPT.

If you haven't ever had one of those days (you're just one of those people who are "A-plus" focused all the time), you'll definitely get a feel for it through this post because that's been my day. It started when I left late for my chiropractor appointment this morning and had to turn off the radio because I was utterly distracted by a sea of amazing clouds rolling across the bright blue sky. I say a "sea" because I honestly had to remind myself, "No Elisabeth, that's not the ocean." The clouds seriously looked like crashing waves hitting the sandy coast, though, one after another, just like clockwork. And that's the perfectly timed picture that God painted for me on his Creator-of-the-World-sized canvas this morning. It was exactly what I needed. Even though I was late, I was too distracted by beauty to care, too awestruck by God's hypersensitivity to my scattered thoughts to worry. Somehow God brought peace and calm to my crazy, all-over-the-place-mess of a mind.

And you wanna know what the best part about all of that was? Not that I couldn't stop and take a picture of the sky this morning (because I was late...) but that God left it for me up there on my way home tonight! Never have I been so thankful for a drive through the backroads by my house. It's like God knew or something! (HA...I just laughed at that statement too) I couldn't keep focused on anything else today for very long, but oh my word, that sky! I had no other choice but stop my car a few different times to take some pictures.

You may think I'm a little crazy by now, but God has actually taught me some crazy lessons of trust today through the sky and my ridiculous lack of focus. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it all and find the words to describe to you how God's been moving in my heart today.

I'll start by being honest and say that this week I have worried wayyyyy too much about some decisions I have to make about what this coming semester is going to look like for me. I've felt almost paralyzed by fear of the unknown (a.k.a. my health) and confused whether as to confront those feelings of fear for what they are or listen to them as whispers of discernment. In any case, I have not been trusting the Lord with these decisions. I've been stressing, trying to figure it out on my own, and deceiving myself into thinking that I can keep things under control.

In reality, I'm more of a mess than I usually think I am, and I desperately need to rely on the Lord. I need to trust that his plan for me is perfect, and that nothing--not even my worry, or doubt, or chronic headaches--can get in the way of that perfect plan. For the God who made the sky and the oceans and the sun and everything that has a name and even the things that have yet to be named, is the same God who's in total control over this long, rough season of my life. To me, it feels like a whirlwind; to God, it must feel like...well, I'm honestly not sure, but I know that the winds and the waves stand still at his command, so my crazy life probably doesn't stress him out all that much.

So once again, for anyone who's ever felt like a complete mess, don't think that God won't come and meet you where you are. I know sometimes we all can get self-conscious and would prefer that God not come and see us in a frazzled, bad hair, no make-up kind of day, but God isn't as easily scared off as we think he'd be. Now is not the time to be shy with Him. It's time to be real. Say it how it is. Don't hold back. The God who gave you life is dying to be in a relationship with you; Jesus made that possible through his death and resurrection. He's waiting for you. What are you waiting for?

Maybe tomorrow morning he'll paint you a masterpiece in the sky, so don't forget to look past your mess to see it. Mmk??

Blessings friends!

Breaking Through Reality's Limits

Last week was so busy that I did not have time to post, but after taking well over 500 pictures, I had a hard time picking just one to write about for week 23 of my 52 Week Project. This one stood out to me though. 

52 Week Project 2012 ~ Week 23

For starters, I've never seen a storm cloud like this before in my life! On Thursday evening, my boyfriend Pat, two of his cousins, and I walked up 110th street in Stone Harbor so the boys could practice their golf swing by the ocean. I tagged along of course, hoping to snag some cool pictures on the beach, but we didn't stay for very long. Once we reached the sand, we spotted this crazy cloud off to our left. It had lightning bolts shooting down from it and stretched twice as long as what I could capture in this photo. For nearly ten minutes, I focused my camera and all my attention on this cloud, attempting to catch a shot of the lightning.

Little did we know, as we stood fixated on this cloud to our left, that an even larger, darker, scarier storm cloud was forming right above us.

This picture doesn't really convey the apprehension we all were feeling at the time, but those clouds were moving fast enough that we unanimously decided to call it a night and head home.  

My experience that night on the beach reminds me of how often I become so focused on the stressors and upsets of life that I fail to recognize the more serious spiritual warfare taking place all around me, thus leaving myself unprotected from Satan's attacks. 

There is so much more to this life than life itself. As the finite beings that we are, we often have great trouble looking past our present circumstances. We secretly desire more, but we fear that our longing will never be satisfied because we've grown so accustomed to a limited reality of life. And so we make our best effort to survive on the tiny morsels of temporary happiness that we can salvage, hoping they'll suffice, but knowing from past experience that they can never quite last long enough. 

In the same way that I failed to see that dark storm cloud above me on the beach because I was focusing on the strange, long cloud, we won't ever see more than our present circumstances if we don't turn ourselves around and look up. Only by the grace of God and his incredible mercy can we even begin to understand the mystery of the unseen spiritual reality that surrounds us. We need to become more aware of the limits that we place on reality and be open to how God will break through them. Until God's work is completed, the battle against evil and our own sinful nature continues to rage; yet, we must not forget that God's plan entails redeeming the whole world, so we can be sure that things are changing---even when the storm clouds roll in---and in the end, all will be changed for good. God never abandons the work of his hands, but promises to finish with the mark of perfection.

With this in mind, we need not fear the battle. For our Lord already has won the victory, and He has given us everything we need for life and godliness. As 2 Peter 1:3-4 states, "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires." What a blessing it is to catch glimpses of God's grand scheme of things. 

A couple weeks ago I wrote a poem for the dove in our front garden. This week, I'm making another attempt at the whole poetry thing because I feel like prose can't adequately express the dynamics of my experience this week. 

"I Long for You"

I long to desire You above all others,

to seek you first, forsaking the rest.

Though now my heart still roams and wanders,

Your arms are where I know I belong, where I fit best.

I long to know You and to be known by You

in the most intimate way that transforms my soul.

Though my body is weak and my thoughts ever fleeting,

My spirit cries out, "Lord, take me home! Just take me home!"

I long to please you Lord in everything I say and do,

to bless your name, oh Great I Am.

Though I have stumbled and fallen many a time,

You cleanse me once again with the blood of the Lamb. 

The Tell-Tale Glow

I need you more than anyone darling, 

You know that I have from the start. 

52 Week Project 2012 ~ Week 19
A Special Dedication to My Most Special Mom

When we were young, my sisters and I always used to pick buttercups from the backyard, hold them up under our chins, and find out if we liked butter---a yellow glow would be the tell-tale sign. Of course, we all loved butter. But for whatever reason, who knows why, some days we apparently did not like butter, according to the buttercup test anyways.

Even though this test doesn't reliably determine the truth of the matter when it comes to butter-liking, it does make me think about how much I really do love my Mom. Just like the buttercup test, some days she can look at me and see that I do love her a lot. But other times, for whatever reason, the tell-tale glow just doesn't appear under my chin.

The everyday tests that shorten our fuses, our ropes, our tempers--or whatever you'd like to call them--make for unreliable tests that can't always determine the truth of the matter when it comes to Mommy-loving. However, I don't think that handing our Moms a well-written Hallmark card and a bouquet of flowers with some candy gives us passing grades either. I've always believed that love is an action word. The words "I love you" only possess deep meaning when acts of love, or service, accompany them.

That's what I've learned from my Mom, because acts of service are definitely her main love language. With that in mind, I'd like to publicly state, before whoever reads this blog, that for this Mother's Day, I commit to helping my mom weed her gardens on any morning of her choosing over the next week.

         Mom, 

              I will get on my hands and knees to show you this year how much I love and care for you. You will know by the dirt under my fingernails, the pile of weeds in the wheelbarrow, and the open space in your gardens; the bug bites I'll acquire, the girly screams you'll hear upon my encounter of creepy crawlers, and the mere sight of me waking up and doing work in the morning. You just tell me when, but we have to do it together. Okay? Happy Mother's Day Mom! I love you with all my heart. Just look for the glow under my chin, Buttercup. It's true. May you feel honored and blessed on this special day and remember that even on the days when I fail the test, my love for you will never wilt or fade. I love you mom! You're the best!! 

Your dearest & most darling daughter,                  

Elisabeth  :)

              

Happy Mother's Day to the rest of you Moms out there! May your days be filled with blessings upon blessings. In the midst of the celebration, try not to overlook the blessings in disguise! 

Any Other Way: ALPACA?

"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection

 and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings,

 becoming like him in his death, 

and so, somehow, 

to attain to the resurrection from the dead." 

~ Philippians 3:10

Sometimes it’s hard to be thankful for the difficult and trying weeks. Most people don’t naturally embrace pain. I sure know that I don’t. The countless ways that I know how to reduce pain and my stubborn curiosity for finding new pain management techniques prove that I don’t enjoy living under physical distress nor do I find pleasure in the actual experience of suffering. This week was one of those weeks where I wished more than anything for relief from illness, from migraines, from fatigue: the things that drained me dry, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

In search of a thankful spirit within my broken and contrite heart, I found great peace and comfort through the songs on my playlist for the week. Tenth Avenue North’s albums The Light Meets the Dark and Over and Underneath were on repeat on my ipod, and I really enjoyed actually having time, despite the accompanying migraines, to listen to the lyrics of many songs that I had never taken the time to listen all the way through. 

One such song in particular has been “Any Other Way” which talks about how pain is necessary for love to exist:

It’s not enough, it’s not enough

Just to say that you’re okay

I need your hurt

I need your pain

It’s not love any other way

Take a listen to what the lead singer of Tenth Avenue North 

has to say about the meaning behind the song. 

He says it better than I could...

I feel like so often we’re tempted, or at least I am, to put on our rose-colored glasses and idealize love in a way that distorts the essence of what love is. Love isn’t always easy. Love carries us through our struggles, our hurt, and our pain. Love doesn’t run away when the going gets tough. Love sticks by us not matter what. Love bids us to come as we are and welcomes us with arms wide open. Love is forever and a day. Nothing can scare it away---not even pain. 

With Jesus by my side this week even as I laid in bed (or on the floor…) too sick to take care of myself, this is the love that comforted me. Christ's love—expressed through the compassionate actions of friends as close as family, the prayers of dedicated saints back home, the grace from my understanding professors and faculty at Messiah, and even the lyrics of simple songs—comforted me. In these little things, which were actually really big things this week, I saw and felt the greatness of God’s love.

God loved me by sending his son to suffer the ultimate pain, so that “By his wounds," truth be told, "you have been healed” (1 Peter 2:24). This amazing truth always gives us a reason to be thankful even when our present circumstances may seem less than desirable. I've clung to that verse this week, and I hope it can encourage you as well in whatever you're going through. 

52 Week Project 2012 ~ 13/52 ~ Horsey & Alpaca!! =)

For week 13 of my 52 Week Project, I was blessed to meet this horsey and alpaca--Otto and Taps. I wouldn't have had this opportunity if I wasn't so sick this past week because they were in the backyard of this lady's house where I had a therapy appointment today. Although it may seem out of place, I really like this picture and it definitely means a lot to me. I hope that you all can just embrace the awkward timing of this picture and remember that blessings come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes we can't explain with words why they're blessings, but during those moments, we can be thankful that a picture is worth a thousand words. That's how my week's been, so I'm just gonna leave it at that for now. Isn't that a nice lookin' horsey and alpaca though?? I think so!

Beautiful Timing

52 Week Project ~ 12/52

 For those of you who were in eastern PA this week, I'm sure you've enjoyed the unusually warm weather we've had. It seriously felt like summer, and I loved it! Friday afternoon was absolutely gorgeous. A perfect day to sit outside, soak up the sunshine, and marvel at the beauty of God's creation. There's something about a gentle breeze on a sunny, 80 degree afternoon that breathes life into us. It's a glorious feeling, isn't it?

As I walked around campus that afternoon, I took some pictures of flowers, hoping to get a good one for this week's photo. After all, March 20th was the first day of Spring, so a nice flower picture seemed quite fitting for the occasion. After I thought about it a little more though, I really wanted a picture of something blossoming, either a flower or a tree, but it had to be natural. I liked my flower pictures--i just really love flowers in general--but I knew that they were recently planted, taken from a pot and stuck in the ground, perfectly arranged the way someone else wanted. 

I was after a naturally blossoming picture because this week God has laid Ecclesiastes chapter 3 on my heart. The first verse plainly states: "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." It then goes on to list various things... you should really go read it for yourself. After that list, verse 11 says, talking about God, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." 

The first time I read this passage, I remember being amazed by the truth of its simplicity. Knowing that God has made everything we see--the flowers, the trees, the grass--and is over everything that takes place on earth--the weather, the change of seasons, the blossoming of nature--it must all have a purpose and that purpose must be good because God is good. Even when it comes to you and me and what goes on in our lives everyday, God has made us and is sovereign over it all. 

Since God is perfect in his nature and all that he does, he can do no wrong. Yet, as humans, we are not God. We are finite beings and not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. It makes sense then that when we take matters into our own hands, when we rely on ourselves or other people for that matter, and trust our flawed sense of the "right" timing, things don't always turn out as beautifully as we had hoped. Often we want things to work out so bad sometimes that we push and pull until our hopes and dreams tear and shatter before our very eyes. 

And then what do we do? We sit back and blame God for the pain and unhappiness we feel when in reality, we brought it upon ourselves by not trusting that God would work it out. Although we often do, we cannot blame God if we don't trust him and his timing. If we do soever trust God and believe that he is true to his word and does make everything beautiful in its time--which isn't always our time--than we wouldn't be so quick to blame in him these matters when life doesn't seem to go our way.

When we recognize that we live in God's world, and not the other way around, maybe we'll begin to trust that his timing really is beautiful, right, perfect. Maybe we'll get a real sense of our finitude and dependence on the God who created us to be in close relationship with him. Maybe then we'll see and fully experience more blessings in disguise. For I believe that only those who trust in the Lord, whose hope is in Him, have the ability to recognize and receive those blessings in their fullest, intended measure. 

If our perception of reality is the reality that we experience, we must learn to see through eyes of faith. Though God's presence is all around us all and his love can be found in all things, only those with eyes of faith and an open heart will see and feel God and recognize it as him. Do you recognize Him? 

We may never be able to fathom what God has done from beginning to end, but we can hope because God has set eternity in our hearts, and we can trust because God makes all things beautiful in its time. 

Our Shatter-Proof Refuge

52 Week Project 2012 ~ 9/52

Have you ever not known how to start a story because the shock of the experience still floods your memory and seemingly drowns your words?  Because that's how I feel right now. Usually I just struggle with writer's block, but I think it's safe to say that this time, writer's shock has gotten to me. With that said, please bare with me if this post seems a little rough.

By looking at the picture I chose for week 9 of my 52 Week Project, you can see that something clearly rocked my world this past week. I purposefully took this picture crooked and faded its color to illustrate the impact that this freak accident has had on me.

Last weekend when I came home, I discovered this bullet hole in my bedroom mirror. Someone apparently had shot my room while I was at school. The bullet passed through the wall, a mere few inches above my bed, through my mirror and the wall on which it hung.  Needless to say, this caused quite a commotion in the Edelman household at 1:30 in the morning. I totally freaked out and, of course, woke up my parents too, so no one slept very well last Friday night.

My dad brought up a good point in the midst of the chaos and the disillusionment. We may think that our home is our refuge, a place of safety where no harm can reach us, but that is a disillusioned way of thinking. Dad reminded me that only the Lord is our refuge, our fortress, and our protector. I was curious and found out that the word "refuge" is used 95 times throughout the Bible, and it pretty much always refers to the Lord (or the cities of refuge which God set apart anyways).


2 Samuel 22:31 says, “As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him."

Psalm 5:11 says, "But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you."

Psalm 34:8 says, "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."

Psalm 57:1 says, "Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed."

Psalm 62: 8 says, "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge."

Isaiah 25:4 says, "You have been a refuge for the poor, a refuge for the needy in his distress, a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat."

Joel 3:16 says, "The LORD will roar from Zion and thunder from Jerusalem; the earth and the sky will tremble. But the LORD will be a refuge for his people, a stronghold for the people of Israel."

Nahum 1:7 says, "The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him"

Over and over, we read that God is a refuge for those who trust in Him. He has proven time and time again to us that He is trustworthy, that He is faithful. He is our rock, our strength, our hope. If we profess to believe that God is who He says He is, then we can take hold of the blessing of actively trusting Him in every area of our lives. That may look different for each person because we each have our own individual troubles, and only God knows the extent of our pain. In light of our dissimilarities, however, I think the outcome of trusting the Lord will reflect the same image of surrender, peace, and comfort in all of our hearts. Even if you can't see that image yet or feel its presence, I encourage you to persevere in faith, patience and trust because peace and comfort comes in time to the soul that takes refuge in the Lord.

In the same way that the bullet definitely made an impact on my mirror but did not shatter it completely, this experience really challenged my thoughts on what it means to trust God, but it did not shatter them completely. Different times throughout the week, I had the choice to trust God or to rely on my own strength to get me through. It was only through those hard times, those trials, those pieces of broken glass, that I saw God as my refuge, my fortress, and my protector. He has proven that He's trustworthy, so I'm going to trust Him---day by day, moment by moment---because no matter how many times Satan tries to take a shot at me, God will always be my shatter-proof refuge.

Take heart brothers and sisters and humbly receive God's blessings in disguise. May our weary and beaten souls find rest tonight in the One who saves.


"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.


It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.


Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
 ~ 2 Corinthians 2:7-18

Chasing the Wind

52 Week Project 2012 ~ 8/52

The picture to the left has an interesting story behind it, one which most people would probably be too embarrassed to tell, but I'm going to share it anyway. 

As a preface, it's important that you know, this past week has overwhelmed me to the max. Five tests and one big project stretched my mental limits, my lack of sleep due to that insane work load pushed me physically and emotionally and, also, probably had something to do with why I felt so sick--worse headaches and nausea--especially towards the end of the week.

All that to say, on Wednesday, I desperately needed an afternoon nap. My body and mind wouldn't compromise with me on that. It was an absolutely BEAUTIFUL sunny and 60 degree day outside, birds chirping and all. The last place I wanted to spend my afternoon was cooped up inside my dorm room, but that's where the story of this week's picture begins.

I gave up what I imagined to be the perfect time of day to take pictures and granted my body and mind some extra time to rest and recuperate before I would force it to stay up until two in the morning to study again for yet another test. After nestling myself under the covers, I dozed off to the sound of the wind blowing in through my window, the coolness of its calming breeze sweeping over me, bringing with it renewed energy and a sense of wholeness. With each passing minute, the sun dropped lower in the sky. Upon reaching the opening of my 2nd story window, its rays gently poured into my room, filling it to the rhythm of the wind.

I awoke to the beat of the breeze with the syncopation of the sunshine. My first instinct was to hide under the covers, shield my eyes from the light, and rest some more. And yet, I'm glad that the wind blew so obnoxiously strong that afternoon because it forced me to wake from my slumber and roll out of bed into the shrinking darkness. I had not the option to ignore the wind nor the sunshine; their harmonious beauty captivated my attention and refused to let it go.

So up I went, out of bed, stumbling over my feet in search of my camera, intending on quickly snapping a picture of the wind that woke me from my much-needed nap time.  204 photos and nearly 45 minutes later, I climbed back into bed even more amazed and reflected on the subtly in which God often chooses to bless his beloved children if only they took the time to notice.

 I thought I needed physical rest in the form of a nice nap. What really refreshed me, though, was having the chance to nourish my soul through encountering the beauty of God in his creation and attempting to capture that beauty with my creativity and camera in hand.

For week 8 of my 52 Week Project, I wanted a picture of the wind. After over 200 attempts, I realized that taking a picture of the wind proves to be a lofty task. In reality, I can only try to capture the effects of the wind. You may be thinking I'm crazy, but I'm not really even embarrassed that I tried for so long to do what any rational person would never think of trying because the process itself evolved into a precious Blessing in Disguise.

By focusing on the actual cause of the effects that I could see from the wind, I learned so much more about God. A lot of people like to say that God is like the wind--you can't see him, but you know he's there because you can feel him and see his effects on people and creation. With relative ease, we can capture the effects of the wind in the same way that we can often see the hand of God at work. However, I feel that it is exponentially crucial to the nourishment of our souls that we never give up seeking the face of God--or focusing on the wind--even though we may never understand his syncopated rhythm, his silence, or his beats in the breeze. We need not feel ashamed of pursuing something, someOne, that we cannot see; he's there; we can feel him. He blesses us through the process of seeking him, which to some may seem as crazy as trying to take a picture of the wind. It may seem impossible at first, but after 204 attempts, the truth stands steady: in Christ alone will we find our rest, our energy, and our purpose. Even when we feel like we're just chasing after the wind, God's promise remains.

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." ~ Jeremiah 29:13

Battling for the New

52 Week Project 2012 ~ 5/52
Taken at Midtown Scholar in Harrisburg, PA

A slight breeze of uneasiness often comes over me when I try something new for the very first time. Whether or not the uneasiness blows from the hovering clouds retaining my fear of the unknown, my insecurity, or my doubt, it has the notorious ability of keeping me up at night. At the beginning of the week, I moved my stuff back to Messiah for the start of the spring semester. Initially, I had the hardest time falling asleep in my newly arranged room, but I somehow seemed to wake up ready to take on each new day with a strange, nervous energy. If you’ve met me, you know that I am the farthest from being a morning person. However, the odd combination of excitement and uneasiness rolled me out of bed, most days before my alarm even told me to! And, like most other college students, that rarely ever happens to me.

It has surely been a week full of new experiences—new classes, professors, and books; new hall mates, laughter, and friendships; new blessings, hardships, and opportunities. The picture for week 5 of my 52 Week Project was taken in the Poetry section of Midtown Scholar, an old bookstore/coffe house renovated from a movie theater located somewhere in the city Harrisburg (except I couldn't tell you where because today was my first time visiting the place...another new experience of mine!).  All this newness got me thinking about both the fear and the joy which so often surrounds the new.

We always have a choice when it comes to stepping out and trying new things. We can either allow fear to paralyze us, keeping us stuck in the ways of the old, or we can overcome that fear, and thereby, take hold of the joy, satisfaction, and blessing, which accompanies the new.

Now I realize that not all new things are necessarily good, and sometimes fear protects us from naively entering into dangerous circumstances. However, I think you know that's not the kind of fear I'm talking about. There comes a time when we must put off the old and put on the new, whether we’re fearful or not.

As Christians in particular, who have been made new in Christ, the time has already come. But in case you missed the memo, the time is now. Regardless of your past regrets, regardless of your past mistakes, whether you messed up a year ago or 5 minutes ago, in Christ, you are a new creation. The old has gone; the sin, all of it, has been forgiven, wiped out, erased. Because of Christ’s blood that was shed for you, your future is spotless. You can now clothe yourself with his righteousness, holiness, and dignity. Fear and shame need not hold you back from the joy of the Lord, the joy of your salvation, the joy of living as one who's been made new.

If you’re still feeling a breeze of uneasiness, if you’re stuck in the shadow of the cloud of the unknown, if you have yet to experience this newness in Christ, I would encourage you to take the steps necessary for you to personally overcome whatever fear and doubt are holding you back from acquiring such joy. 

Ask questions. There are answers.

Cry out to God. He hears you.

Let Christ’s love revive your weary soul. He longs to do so.

God, the maker of Heaven and Earth, longs to be in relation with you, longs to make you whole, longs to make you new. Don’t let your fear of abandoning your old ways disguise the ultimate blessing of God’s redeeming grace.

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” ~ Luke 11:9-10

Don't Even Hesitate!

I can't say I've experienced too many concerts in my lifetime--I could probably count how many I've been to on one hand (sad, I know)--but I've heard some horror stories of people getting seriously injured from the perilous combination of hardcore moshing and crazy fans. Others have had their eardrums burst and/or have lost their voice for days. Insanity! Right?

Fortunately, I woke up on Friday morning after Winter Jam with only two sore arm muscles. No fights. I promise. It was a Christian concert; The Christian Concert: 10 bands for only $10. With music from Sanctus Real and Skillet, Building 429 and Kari Jobe, which were my favorite, I had the time of my life. By the end of the night, my camera informed me that I had exhausted its battery. Rumor has it that's because I spent the majority of the concert holding my camera up to see above the crowd trying to capture the best shot I possibly could of the rockin' stage. Usually I don't trust rumors, but 'tis true. And the winner, stealing the title of Week 4 Photo, is....

52 Week Project 2012 ~ 4/52

There is just something about capturing the splendor of a night like that. I don't think I ever fully could perform such a miracle, but try to imagine for yourselves: the entire Sovereign Center in Reading, PA completely filled, a roaring sea of people, hands outstretched and voices raised, praising the Lord our God, sold out for the King of kings, rejoicing over the Maker of Heaven and Earth. It gives me the slightest taste of the Heaven for which I crave, something like what John described in Revelation 7:9: "...I saw a vast crowd, too great to count, from every nation and tribe and people and language, standing in front of the throne and before the Lamb. They were clothed in white robes and held palm branches in their hands" (ESV). Minus the robes and the palm branches, and replace the throne with a ginormous stage and flashy spot lights...well, you see the picture. 

I love the diversity of the body of Christ and the diversity of worship that emerges as a result. Traditional hymns, contemporary songs, raps, spoken word, etc. In the end, it all goes to the same place. I can't imagine why it wouldn't please God to hear the sound of his children using the gifts and talents they've been given in a creative way to usher glory to his name. After all He created us in his image--imago dei--we serve, worship, and adore a creative God. Amen? 

So the next time you feel like jamming to a new song, dancing for the Lord, or raising your hands in Sunday morning service, don't even hesitate! Maybe if we all stopped denying those "unconventional?" urges and just followed the leading of the Holy Spirit, we'd taste even more of Heaven's sweet delight. 

yummm...

That's a huge part of what the 2nd annual Imago Dei, the benefit concert on March 24th at Calvary Fellowship Church, is all about. To learn more click on the imago dei link above or take a peek at the statement I wrote up for last year's benefit. This year's proceeds will go to homeless organizations in Chester County. If you're around, come come come!! Don't Even Hesitate! I guarantee you will not regret it. 

The Challenge & The Blessing

52 Week Project 2012 ~ 3/52

A theme of contentment--giving thanks in all circumstances--has woven its way through the third week of my 52 Week Project, and waking up to the freshly laid blanket of snow outside, I'd say, wrapped it up quite nicely. 

This family of trees has gathered in our front yard since before we built our house here over 11 years ago. I can remember passing countless Spring afternoons rocking away on the hammock under the shade-casting branches of these trusty trees; summer memories of sword fighting with their fallen branches and then playing fetch with our dog Trudy who'd always interrupt the game; fall days filled with the fierce competition for first place in the classic Edelman family game of Catch the Leaves; snowy days like today that make me slow down from the hustle and bustle of life and pause....

Closing my eyes I breathe in the crisp scent of winter bliss and let out a deep sigh of contentment as the gentlest of smiles glides across my sleepy-eyed face; thus, concluding my much needed moment of escape.

I've been challenged this week to transform those brief moments of escape, of silent bliss, of peaceful contentment, to reflect my everyday-state-of-mind. The challenge initially came to me while sitting in a wooden pew of a church out in Reading. Pat and I wanted to check out this church because he was interviewing for their worship leader position later in the week. Visiting the church was slightly a spur of the moment decision, but I thank God for bringing us there that morning. I went in thinking I wouldn't enjoy a traditional church service, let alone a sermon on finances. Thankfully, though, God knows I enjoy a challenge; hence, my strong conviction by this verse the Pastor mentioned. Hebrews 13:5 states, "...be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you' (Deut. 31:6)" (NIV).

I went through the rest of my day pretty much headache free, thanking the Lord for that blessing along with the blessing of participating in the Body of Christ, fellowship, and prayer; music, food, and friends; life, love, and happiness. Everything! In addition to the challenge of contentment God presented me with that morning, He also gave me a renewed perspective. From there, He encouraged me that living with a heart of thanksgiving will provide the joy and hope necessary to sustain me through whatever trials may come.

And surely, the trials came. Before gaining victory in this challenge, God decided to test me--starting first thing Monday morning--when I woke up with a really sore throat. (Because I have Lyme disease, my white blood cell count is extremely low, which makes it hard for my body to fight off other viruses and bacteria. It's always bad. That's why I hate getting sick on top of everything else. So, being sick and content is very challenging for me.) In order to confirm that I grasped the concepts of this lesson of contentment, I spent the entire week in bed sick as a dog with really bad headaches again. At least that was my reasoning as I lied awake in bed. It's easy to give thanks when the days seem good; however, when the days are bad, long, or painful, maintaining an attitude of thankfulness grows much more difficult. I convinced myself that this sickness was all part of the challenge, though, and I became determined to finish well.

My Memory Verse:
"The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion"
Psalm 116:5

Ironically, this week's devotional had me read Psalm 116, memorize verse 5, and meditate on the following quote by John R. Claypool: "Thankfulness is...a resource rather than a burden which can be used by God to enable us to overcome obstacles rather than to be overcome by them."

Looking back on the week now that most of it is behind me, I curiously wonder if that "challenge" God gave me on Sunday morning was really his way of blessing me with the resource he planned on using to sustain me through this sickness. I think... Yes!

Thankfulness: a blessing in disguise.

Psalm 136:1 says, "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever."

~If you've read this post, please share something you're thankful for by posting a comment below. Don't be shy!
May thankfulness spill from us.

Just Keep Swimming

Over the past week and a half, I feel like I've been developing, or redeveloping, Dory's philosophy of "Just Keep Swimming" in spite of the fear and anxiety brought on by the unknown. I'd like to say first of all to anyone who thinks that Disney/Pixar movies are childish and lacking in substance, you are very much mistaken and I pity you. Open your eyes! There are important life lessons that can be discovered through the dynamic characters, even though they are just cartoons. 


With that said, I'd like to share with you, as promised, the news we received last Tuesday from the testing that this new doctor performed. It was a very, VERY long day, and a lot of information was thrown at us. We all, my family and I, needed a good deal of time to absorb it, wrestle with it, cry over it, and pray through it. That's why it's taken me a week and a half to bring myself to write this post. Even now I don't have it all sorted out, but I can at least share what I know as well as some more specific prayer requests we have now as a result of obtaining this new information.


The tests pretty much confirmed most of the things that we suspected have been making me sick; however, due to the inaccuracy, and thus lack of dependency on the traditional blood tests, I had only tested positive for Rickekisia, other wise known as Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, which is a tick-born disease. These tests were different though because they used frequencies to determine if certain parasites, bacteria, and viruses are hiding inside my cells. Just because something is inside the cell does not mean it will necessarily show up in the blood, so it makes that the blood tests would come back negative. I tested positive for ten different bugs: three parasites, four kinds of bacteria, and one virus. Two of the bacteria have two different strains though, so it's really a total six of the little buggers. Some of the more commons ones include Borellia (Lyme disease), Babesia, Strep, RMSF, and feline leukemia---all very interesting...


The tests also showed that my whole body has been affected by these infections. Almost all of my organ systems are considered "weak areas" but especially my thyroid, liver, spleen, adrenal, and hippocampus (short-term memory). The goal is to be at least functioning at 70% in each area but those areas in my body are all bottoming out at a mere 60% . . . Not O.K. 


So what this means is that after nearly a year of antibiotic protocols, I will be starting a new treatment plan the second week in August after we get back from Florida. This doctor treats with herbs, however I can keep taking my antibiotics in the beginning to keep some of my dorment symptoms from reawakening. Each bug must be treated individually, one at a time. There is an herb kit for each bug which lasts 18-21 days if all goes well...so doing the math, it'll be at least 200 days, which is about 7 months of treatment if I'm able to do one right after the other at full strength. The doctor seems very confident that I will feel better after this, but he said I may experience some side effects from the herbs that could range from mild to severe (we'll be praying for no side effects at all though right?!?!)  He also wants to give both me and my sister Lauren (who is also sick with similar but different bugs) these shots to help boost our organ functions, which should also help with my short-term memory loss. 


The short-term memory loss (and cognitive impairment) has definitely been most frustrating, regardless of how much we joke about it at times. That's another area in which I can identify with Dory---this has been going on, remember, for over two and a half years. It's been a long time. I've regressed, hit rock bottom, progressed, plateaued, regressed again, and gone up and down a lot. That's the nature of these infections. If that doesn't take you on an emotional roller coaster than I don't know what would! I have had my good days and my bad days. Sometimes I get tired of it all and just wanna give up, but my fear of what giving up looks like helps me to endure just a little bit longer. 


It's in the fight that hope can be renewed, providing the strength, patience, and perspective needed to persevere. I've grown much stronger as a result of this sickness, this seemingly unending trial, but I can honestly tell you that my strength does not arise from myself. The strength I use to fight this battle is rooted in the joy of the Lord, Jesus Christ the Risen King. He didn't come to save us from suffering, but rather to enter into it with us, both in the moment of his crucifixion as well as in our present suffering. If Jesus was able to defeat death, which he did, and if I have the power that raised Christ from the dead in me, which I do, than certainly I can defeat this illness. I will do so by lifting my eyes above my suffering to my Father and Savior in Heaven whose grace is sufficient for me, whose power is made perfect in weakness, whose love endures forever, whose mercy reaches to the sky. 


When you lift your eyes to the Maker of Heaven and Earth, the weight of the dirt and grime of this life diminishes. He lifts the burden. He makes the load lighter. The miraculous discovery of joy, not just happiness which proves ever so fleeting but deep joy amidst pain and suffering---the joy of the Lord, my friends--is a beautiful thing; a blessing in disguise; a fine treasure that can only be found in the deepest, darkest mines of life's valleys. My heart grieves for those who refuse, dismiss, or neglect the beauty these landmarks of suffering have to offer, for in doing so, they will most likely overlook the greatest treasure that man could ever possess this side of Heaven.


I just want to take one last moment and thank everyone who has been praying for me, specifically through these tests, as well as the neurological testing I had done on Monday--we won't get those results for another six weeks or so. Don't forget that prayer is soooo powerful. So often, we have not because we ask not. As we seek God's face, may He direct our paths. He knows our every need, and He's in control over it all. The God who spoke and this world came to be is the God who holds you and me in the palm of His hand. He's been faithful thus far. He has proven Himself trustworthy. So I'm gonna keep trusting Him. He knows this is gonna make me stronger; us stronger. The Potter just knows these things. 

I'm loving this song right now. "Stronger" by Mandisa. Check it out :)

 

The Best TastyKake Ever

Today I had a TastyKake. A chocolate KandyKake to be exact. Dark chocolate on the outside with chocolate cake lined with vanilla cream on the inside. After six or so weeks of a strict, low-fat vegan diet, I thought I deserved a treat. Besides, it was a miserable, rainy day, and my head already hurt. That was my reasoning. So I went ahead, indulged my craving, and let me tell you...nothing could have tasted better.

I felt a little guilty afterwards, knowing I'd pay for it later, but it was so worth it. The highlight of my day even. So much so that I'm writing about it now, on my blog that I rarely feel inspired enough to post. But it was just that good. And the whole ordeal got me to thinking.

As sinful human beings, we are more prone to give into temptation when we are weak, run-down, tired, and hurting--although rainy days don't help either. It's times like these that we lose sight of the goal and fail to persevere toward the finish line. This seems to go in cycles too. I can at least speak for myself that it does. One day I'll be strong and able to resist temptation, whatever it may be--even as simple as avoiding sweets because they're bad for me--and then the next day I'll be weak and indulge in the best TastyKake of my life! I've been thinking about this all day. Like many things, I knew there was a deeper, spiritual meaning just waiting to be uncovered, because "everything is spiritual" as Rob Bell would say.

Just a moment ago, I found this online devotional posted on a friend's Facebook page, and I clicked on it, hoping to read something inspiring, refreshing, strengthening. I believe it satisfies my quandary. Here's a little excerpt:

Delayed 

"Know of a surety that thy seed shall be sojourners in a land that is not theirs; . . . they shall afflict them four hundred years; . . . and afterward they shall come out with great substance" (Gen. 15:12-14).

     An assured part of God's pledged blessing to us is delay and suffering. A delay in Abram's own lifetime that seemed to put God's pledge beyond fulfillment was followed by seemingly unendurable delay of Abram's descendants. But it was only a delay: they "came out with great substance." The pledge was redeemed.

     God is going to test me with delays; and with the delays will come suffering, but through it all stands God's pledge: His new covenant with me in Christ, and His inviolable promise of every lesser blessing that I need. The delay and the suffering are part of the promised blessing; let me praise Him for them today; and let me wait on the Lord and be of good courage and He will strengthen my heart.

     --C. G. Trumbull

                                     
Is God delaying something in your life? If so, be encouraged and take heart because delay is part of His pledge. We will be tempted by the TastyKakes in our lives to give up on God's plan for us when we are in the midst of the battle; yet, the hardship is part of the blessing. This is not a masochistic philosophy. However, I've learned that although pain comes when God prunes away the dead branches from my heart that bear no fruit, when I abide in his loving arms, He faithfully restores me and I thrive as a result (John 15). Even when we can't see Him working on the outside, we can have faith that he is doing a good work within us. That's the other part of the blessing of His promise to his children.

God is the potter. We are the clay. Our job is to be moldable. He is constantly working to refine us, and it's easier if we listen and open our hearts to His. In what areas is He desiring to mold and refine you today?

"Yet, O LORD, you are our Father.

We are the clay, you are the potter;

we are all the work of your hand."

Isaiah 64:8