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| 52 Week Project 2012 ~ Week 30 Makes me wanna take a backroad =) |
If you haven't ever had one of those days (you're just one of those people who are "A-plus" focused all the time), you'll definitely get a feel for it through this post because that's been my day. It started when I left late for my chiropractor appointment this morning and had to turn off the radio because I was utterly distracted by a sea of amazing clouds rolling across the bright blue sky. I say a "sea" because I honestly had to remind myself, "No Elisabeth, that's not the ocean." The clouds seriously looked like crashing waves hitting the sandy coast, though, one after another, just like clockwork. And that's the perfectly timed picture that God painted for me on his Creator-of-the-World-sized canvas this morning. It was exactly what I needed. Even though I was late, I was too distracted by beauty to care, too awestruck by God's hypersensitivity to my scattered thoughts to worry. Somehow God brought peace and calm to my crazy, all-over-the-place-mess of a mind.
And you wanna know what the best part about all of that was? Not that I couldn't stop and take a picture of the sky this morning (because I was late...) but that God left it for me up there on my way home tonight! Never have I been so thankful for a drive through the backroads by my house. It's like God knew or something! (HA...I just laughed at that statement too) I couldn't keep focused on anything else today for very long, but oh my word, that sky! I had no other choice but stop my car a few different times to take some pictures.
You may think I'm a little crazy by now, but God has actually taught me some crazy lessons of trust today through the sky and my ridiculous lack of focus. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it all and find the words to describe to you how God's been moving in my heart today.
I'll start by being honest and say that this week I have worried wayyyyy too much about some decisions I have to make about what this coming semester is going to look like for me. I've felt almost paralyzed by fear of the unknown (a.k.a. my health) and confused whether as to confront those feelings of fear for what they are or listen to them as whispers of discernment. In any case, I have not been trusting the Lord with these decisions. I've been stressing, trying to figure it out on my own, and deceiving myself into thinking that I can keep things under control.
In reality, I'm more of a mess than I usually think I am, and I desperately need to rely on the Lord. I need to trust that his plan for me is perfect, and that nothing--not even my worry, or doubt, or chronic headaches--can get in the way of that perfect plan. For the God who made the sky and the oceans and the sun and everything that has a name and even the things that have yet to be named, is the same God who's in total control over this long, rough season of my life. To me, it feels like a whirlwind; to God, it must feel like...well, I'm honestly not sure, but I know that the winds and the waves stand still at his command, so my crazy life probably doesn't stress him out all that much.
So once again, for anyone who's ever felt like a complete mess, don't think that God won't come and meet you where you are. I know sometimes we all can get self-conscious and would prefer that God not come and see us in a frazzled, bad hair, no make-up kind of day, but God isn't as easily scared off as we think he'd be. Now is not the time to be shy with Him. It's time to be real. Say it how it is. Don't hold back. The God who gave you life is dying to be in a relationship with you; Jesus made that possible through his death and resurrection. He's waiting for you. What are you waiting for?
Maybe tomorrow morning he'll paint you a masterpiece in the sky, so don't forget to look past your mess to see it. Mmk??
Blessings friends!
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