Breaking Through Reality's Limits

Last week was so busy that I did not have time to post, but after taking well over 500 pictures, I had a hard time picking just one to write about for week 23 of my 52 Week Project. This one stood out to me though. 

52 Week Project 2012 ~ Week 23

For starters, I've never seen a storm cloud like this before in my life! On Thursday evening, my boyfriend Pat, two of his cousins, and I walked up 110th street in Stone Harbor so the boys could practice their golf swing by the ocean. I tagged along of course, hoping to snag some cool pictures on the beach, but we didn't stay for very long. Once we reached the sand, we spotted this crazy cloud off to our left. It had lightning bolts shooting down from it and stretched twice as long as what I could capture in this photo. For nearly ten minutes, I focused my camera and all my attention on this cloud, attempting to catch a shot of the lightning.

Little did we know, as we stood fixated on this cloud to our left, that an even larger, darker, scarier storm cloud was forming right above us.

This picture doesn't really convey the apprehension we all were feeling at the time, but those clouds were moving fast enough that we unanimously decided to call it a night and head home.  

My experience that night on the beach reminds me of how often I become so focused on the stressors and upsets of life that I fail to recognize the more serious spiritual warfare taking place all around me, thus leaving myself unprotected from Satan's attacks. 

There is so much more to this life than life itself. As the finite beings that we are, we often have great trouble looking past our present circumstances. We secretly desire more, but we fear that our longing will never be satisfied because we've grown so accustomed to a limited reality of life. And so we make our best effort to survive on the tiny morsels of temporary happiness that we can salvage, hoping they'll suffice, but knowing from past experience that they can never quite last long enough. 

In the same way that I failed to see that dark storm cloud above me on the beach because I was focusing on the strange, long cloud, we won't ever see more than our present circumstances if we don't turn ourselves around and look up. Only by the grace of God and his incredible mercy can we even begin to understand the mystery of the unseen spiritual reality that surrounds us. We need to become more aware of the limits that we place on reality and be open to how God will break through them. Until God's work is completed, the battle against evil and our own sinful nature continues to rage; yet, we must not forget that God's plan entails redeeming the whole world, so we can be sure that things are changing---even when the storm clouds roll in---and in the end, all will be changed for good. God never abandons the work of his hands, but promises to finish with the mark of perfection.

With this in mind, we need not fear the battle. For our Lord already has won the victory, and He has given us everything we need for life and godliness. As 2 Peter 1:3-4 states, "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires." What a blessing it is to catch glimpses of God's grand scheme of things. 

A couple weeks ago I wrote a poem for the dove in our front garden. This week, I'm making another attempt at the whole poetry thing because I feel like prose can't adequately express the dynamics of my experience this week. 

"I Long for You"

I long to desire You above all others,

to seek you first, forsaking the rest.

Though now my heart still roams and wanders,

Your arms are where I know I belong, where I fit best.

I long to know You and to be known by You

in the most intimate way that transforms my soul.

Though my body is weak and my thoughts ever fleeting,

My spirit cries out, "Lord, take me home! Just take me home!"

I long to please you Lord in everything I say and do,

to bless your name, oh Great I Am.

Though I have stumbled and fallen many a time,

You cleanse me once again with the blood of the Lamb. 

Couch-to-5-K

I bought these sneakers with the hope that they will symbolize the start of a new stage of my recovery.

52 Week Project 2012 ~ Week 22 #HotPinkAllTheWay

Before I got sick, running and I had always enjoyed a love-hate relationship, filled with some joyous, some not-so-joyous memories of never-ending track work-outs, driveway sprints, and Camp Lauren. Most of the time, someone else had to push me to run. Or rather, in some cases, pull me off the couch. Thanks Laur! Although I didn’t always have a self-motivation to lace up my running shoes, at least I was able to still do it and run a good race.

There were a few occasions when I was still really struggling with my health that I tried running again, but my head pounded with every step, making the entire process and the rest of my day torture trying to deal with an insane migraine.

It’s one thing to complain about not wanting to run or feeling sore afterwards, but it’s a totally different, almost defeating, thing to know that even if you wanted to, running was out of the picture. I guess it's sometimes true that you never know what you got til it's gone. . . 

Today I began a exercise routine called The Couch-to-5-K Running Plan for new runners who want to progress from their sedentary state to running three miles, all in 2 months! I’m giving myself some extra time though. My goal is to be able to run 3 miles by the end of the summer.

After jogging/walking for 1.75 miles this morning, I just feel the usual aches of exercise. The really great part is that I didn’t get a migraine from the work-out AND I was able to complete it the right way. Compared to what I had done before, it wasn’t that hard of a work-out at all, but after not being able to do much of anything these past three years, it felt like a good enough sweat for me! Hopefully I'll be able to keep it up and finish what I've started. The fact that I'm on week 22 of my 52 Week Project seems like a pretty good sign to me that I have what it takes to commit. Ask me in two weeks how I'm doing. . . ;)

I'll leave you all with a running verse for inspiration: Hebrews 12:1 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 

Bird's Eye View

“Who stands fast? Only the man whose final standard is not his reason, his principles, his conscience, his freedom, or his virtue, but who is ready to sacrifice all this when he is called to obedient and responsible action in faith and in exclusive allegiance to God—the responsible man, who tries to make his whole life an answer to the question and call of God.”

 –Dietrich Bonhoeffer 

This week I’ve sensed a common theme of the need to stand firm in the faith in spite of pressures, fears, and struggles that tempt us to abandon the convictions and beliefs we hold in our hearts. Through my reading of Bonhoeffer's life and my reflections of Christ's example of suffering that he has left for us, I have been faced with the challenge to take God more seriously. Lest the saints cringe to see one’s perseverance in the faith diminish into the looming darkness, one must possess an undeniable responsibility to God’s call, stretching far beyond one’s self and suffering, that makes the muddy trek through hell on earth worth every inch. 

This dove, who has made her nest in the tree next to our porch, inspired me along the lines of this theme of perseverance and resilience, and so I've written her a short poem to conclude my post for this week. Please try to enjoy my attempt at poetry....

52 Week Project 2012 ~ Week 21

Innocent, pure, flawless Dove,

All too often have I underestimated your resilience. 

To my surprise, 

you remain steadfast to your duty: 

protecting your baby dove eggs

 even though blinded by the flashes of my camera and 

frightened by the dangerous blades of Daddy's trimmers. 

You know that I see you, and I know that you see me.

But this I must confess:

You have become the subject of my photo for the week

--I hope that's okay--

Not just for your beauty, though, 

for with you, there lies more beneath your fine feathers.

It is the strong will and dedication with which you respond to your call, 

which bids me to reevaluate my simple judgment on your kind. 

Your resistance to flight in the face of fear has inspired me, 

innocent, pure, flawless Dove,

to try to do the same.