Our Mess. God's Masterpiece.

52 Week Project 2012 ~ Week 30
Makes me wanna take a backroad =)

Ever have one of those days when you just feel like your thoughts are all over the place? On the one hand, your scatterbrain-ness is everything but productive. On the other hand, you learn a lot about yourself because of your hypersensitivity to the Wheel-of-Thoughts that's spinning in your head. Tick. Tick. Tick. Speeding up and slowing down. Wondering where it's going to stop. $1,000 or BANKRUPT.

If you haven't ever had one of those days (you're just one of those people who are "A-plus" focused all the time), you'll definitely get a feel for it through this post because that's been my day. It started when I left late for my chiropractor appointment this morning and had to turn off the radio because I was utterly distracted by a sea of amazing clouds rolling across the bright blue sky. I say a "sea" because I honestly had to remind myself, "No Elisabeth, that's not the ocean." The clouds seriously looked like crashing waves hitting the sandy coast, though, one after another, just like clockwork. And that's the perfectly timed picture that God painted for me on his Creator-of-the-World-sized canvas this morning. It was exactly what I needed. Even though I was late, I was too distracted by beauty to care, too awestruck by God's hypersensitivity to my scattered thoughts to worry. Somehow God brought peace and calm to my crazy, all-over-the-place-mess of a mind.

And you wanna know what the best part about all of that was? Not that I couldn't stop and take a picture of the sky this morning (because I was late...) but that God left it for me up there on my way home tonight! Never have I been so thankful for a drive through the backroads by my house. It's like God knew or something! (HA...I just laughed at that statement too) I couldn't keep focused on anything else today for very long, but oh my word, that sky! I had no other choice but stop my car a few different times to take some pictures.

You may think I'm a little crazy by now, but God has actually taught me some crazy lessons of trust today through the sky and my ridiculous lack of focus. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it all and find the words to describe to you how God's been moving in my heart today.

I'll start by being honest and say that this week I have worried wayyyyy too much about some decisions I have to make about what this coming semester is going to look like for me. I've felt almost paralyzed by fear of the unknown (a.k.a. my health) and confused whether as to confront those feelings of fear for what they are or listen to them as whispers of discernment. In any case, I have not been trusting the Lord with these decisions. I've been stressing, trying to figure it out on my own, and deceiving myself into thinking that I can keep things under control.

In reality, I'm more of a mess than I usually think I am, and I desperately need to rely on the Lord. I need to trust that his plan for me is perfect, and that nothing--not even my worry, or doubt, or chronic headaches--can get in the way of that perfect plan. For the God who made the sky and the oceans and the sun and everything that has a name and even the things that have yet to be named, is the same God who's in total control over this long, rough season of my life. To me, it feels like a whirlwind; to God, it must feel like...well, I'm honestly not sure, but I know that the winds and the waves stand still at his command, so my crazy life probably doesn't stress him out all that much.

So once again, for anyone who's ever felt like a complete mess, don't think that God won't come and meet you where you are. I know sometimes we all can get self-conscious and would prefer that God not come and see us in a frazzled, bad hair, no make-up kind of day, but God isn't as easily scared off as we think he'd be. Now is not the time to be shy with Him. It's time to be real. Say it how it is. Don't hold back. The God who gave you life is dying to be in a relationship with you; Jesus made that possible through his death and resurrection. He's waiting for you. What are you waiting for?

Maybe tomorrow morning he'll paint you a masterpiece in the sky, so don't forget to look past your mess to see it. Mmk??

Blessings friends!

To be or not to be?

I have a confession or two (or five) to make...

The people who live with me already know that I haven't kept up with the Couch-to-5 K running plan.
I reached Week 3, but then lost my momentum.
I've stayed seated on the couch more than I've ran over the past two months.
I make excuses---my head hurts...I'm too tired...I just showered...I have too much school work...I just ate a whole cake Katherine, so give me a break---even though some are completely legitimate reasons not to run (in my mind at least).
Needless to say, my hot pink sneakers haven't lost as much tread as I thought they would've by now.

Once I fell behind, I just gave up. I had a rough couple of weeks health wise by the time I reached week 3 of the program and lost my wind. Instead of giving myself some grace, moving back to a slower pace in order to regain my strength, increase my endurance, and eventually make strides toward my goal, I decided to go sit back on the couch. It's not where I wanted to end up, nor is it where I felt like I should stay, but at least I knew I'd be comfortable there for the time being.

This kind of attitude tends to bench a lot of us. If we make one mistake, we think it's all downhill from there. We give up before we even get going. I think most people also think of their spiritual lives in the same way. We read in the Bible (2 Corinthians 5:17) about how God says that we are a new creation; the old has gone and the new has come, right? But sometimes we still feel old, act old, and look old. What then? Do we just go sit back on the couch and tell ourselves, "Oh, tomorrow I'll be a new creation" ? Sometimes, yes, that is exactly what we do.

When we do that though, when we revert back to the comfortable, old way of life, we put ourselves through an identity crisis, whether we know it or not. As believers in Christ, we are redeemed children of God, without stain or blemish in the eyes of the Almighty. We have been saved from a dark, torturous eternity separated from our Maker, and saved into a new life, full of God's goodness, mercy, and love. Our identity becomes Christ's, for that's how the Father sees us. He knows we're not perfect, but he's making us new. It may not always feel like the most comfortable choice, but we can have confidence that God will finish the work he began in each of his children, for Christ said so himself: "It is finished."

Until then, we can live each day with the hope that one day we will experience the completeness of our redemption through Jesus Christ. Even on the days we feel old, like there's nothing new about us, we can walk on with the strength we receive from God's Word, which says:

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure." (1 John 3:1-3)

52 Week Project 2012 ~ Week 29
#tobeornottobe

To be or not to be? That is the question.

Redeemed.

That is our answer.

This week I stopped listening to the voice in my head that told me I'd never be able to actually run a 5 K. I woke up early one day, made my way down to the treadmill in our basement, and walked a mile. It wasn't a lot, but it's something. At least I'm off the couch again. 

At the very end of that one mile walk, the song "Redeemed" by Big Daddy Weave came on my Pandora Radio. It perfectly summed up my reason for walking, for moving forward, for trying again. Not just in exercising, but in life. No matter the pain I feel, I always have a reason to get up in the morning. 

I am redeemed.